MargoTwinkle

It’s not like things aren’t OK for me at the moment. I have a safe and warm place to live, I have a reasonably good job where I do something that genuinely makes a positive difference to the lives of people. I have a lovely man and I’m fit and healthy. I do feel grateful I suppose but on the other hand I don’t really like where I live but I don’t have the money to move yet, my job, although worthy is not what I want to do for a career and the man, although fantastic is living 200 miles away and although he’s trying, it’s not looking likely that he will be moving nearer to me anytime in the near future. Everything is OK, but it is just OK and I want things to be amazing.
Today I got an email that literally had me dancing around my bedroom in glee. I finished my MA a few months ago and since then I’ve tidied away my research and sort of forgotten about it. Now the editor of a leading journal in my academic field who also happens to be one of the leading writers in my field and is also a professor at one of the two top universities in England has asked me to write an article for the journal. I’m pretty chuffed about this! It means I can add a ‘publications’ section to my CV and it also significantly increases my chance of some PhD funding if I ever find the guts to go through with it. More than anything though it has made me realise that my intelectual output might be worth something, not financially of course but there’s something quite exciting about the fact that this editor actually thinks I have something worth publishing and sharing. I’m slightly shitting myself about writing the article but I hope to rise to the challenge like a soaring eagle!
Maybe I need to have more confidence in this little brain of mine.

I’m too chicken to say that I’ve done this. Seven months ago I said to my friends that I would be going on my very last internet date, that I was thoroughly fed up of the freaks and weirdos I had met online and that this time would be the last roll of the dice. Through the internet, through pictured and profiles I didn’t think I fancied him and I wasn’t sure whether this date would lead to anything other than some awkward conversations over a mediocre meal. I met him and to be honest I’ve never looked back. I feel like I’ve found a best friend, an amazing lover and some who teaches me everyday about how much fun I can have by just being myself. I do love him, he’s not what I expected but every day he rocks my little folk world. I feel like admitting this will in some way convince the gods to somehow take him away from me, but there comes a time when you just have to appreciate what you have. Right now I love and feel loved and I hope it lasts forever.

I passed my driving theory test today. Hazard perception – what’s that all about?! Next week I will book up my practical lessons and hopefully by the summer I will have my licence. Being about to afford a car though is going to be much more tricky. Maybe I can win one.