MemoryRose

....I love my series of television shows, and movies….but I will try.

...spending money, like an idiot. I have 20 bucks I find something to do with it no matter what it is, I will spend it. And not regret it until I’m left with no money.

...since she has passed away, and I want to go and put flowers on her grave, because it has been 6 months since I went to the grave.

The problem is that her grave is across the ocean from where I am.
I don’t have the money to go.
And I have no one to go with.

But I want to do this I want to go see her grave, where her ashes are buried and tell her that I’m not ok, that she’s gone. That I’m still hurting. And that I miss her and love her everyday.

<3

...it makes me smile because I feel accomplished when I re-read what I wrote.

It makes me smile, it sooths my soul, and it helps me cope with life.
<3

...print out my resume.
<3

...there is a voice in the back of my head telling me to do it, and that’s the voice of my mother, I don’t want to lose that, for months before she died she would tell me.

And now as I get into my new car, which she never got to see, and go to the classes she never heard about, I see the application and I remember her, and I smile as I listen to her yell at me to do it.

<3 IMY <3

...10 more to go.

....except send the application. I don’t know what’s stopping me I guess because this was a step I wanted my mother to be here for. But she can’t anymore, and I’m afraid if I move on with this, I’ll forget her slowly.

I want to go and I can only go in March cause that’s when they’re coming back to Canada, they were here last week but I couldn’t go because I was in exams but I promised myself I would go, just so I can meet the guys I love them, their music inspires me and I don’t get tired of them at all. Like I do with most other bands.

There’s no question about it.

All I have to do is apply but it’s more complicated.

But I shall do it.

So I’m taking this a step further, I’ve looked into applying at a different University that offers Journalism.

I’m waiting for the information of Acceptance for September 2009.

...then to go to the Romanian Carousel of nations and be seen by everyone and no one knows who you are…until they see my parents and everyone is saying how grown up/pretty/hot i am now. It was amazing.

Ok it’s imposible to do it without the support of your family. And mine was sort of like, why are you doing this again? my father eve asked if I’ve joined a cult. But I might try it again when I’m on my own or when I have better control over the food consumption in the house since everything that is made or even bought is a dairy product or a meat product. For now I’m giving up. Even though I was one for 3 days and that is a big deal when you look in my fridge.

hasn’t happend yet. Today I’m gonna start since I’m starting a new life a vegan lifestyle I’ll start cleaning up. Hopefully.

1/2 way done actually 3 more chapters and I’m done. I’m really excited to get it published but the first step would be reviewing it and editing it. I’m really excited.

Today is University of Windsor Open house. I’ve been to many last year but my heart wasn’t really in going, maybe because I didn’t want to go or I knew I wasn’t going to go. but now I’m excited probably because I know exacly what I want to do.

Psychology, Communication Studies and Enviromental Science. Also gonna look into the program Diaspora it seems really interesting.

Diaspora- International community sort of I don’t know the exact meaning but I know I’m part of the Romanian Diaspora in Canada.

I started yesterday but today is day one, since I had a craving for fried eggs and they were in front of me. I know kinda weak that I had any but they looked so good.

Today is ok, there are no cravings for anything really. Gonna see what is there to eat in the house, non-meat or animal product.

My mom is supportive of this mainly because she hopes I’ll lose weight, it’s not one the reason’s I’m doing this. I just want to see if I can do it for at least a month. My dad is making comments and stuff it bothers me but I’m just shrugging it off.

Here’s to a better life :)

...a bad pen pal. I’ve gotten a couple of letters and I’ve written back yet I’ve lost track of sending them this week I’m gonna write back for sure. Of course it’s on my mind and it makes me sad that I keep putting it off. I guess the main reason for putting it off ir rejection but I’m gonna get over it.

...awesome to learn it. I mean it’s something people recognize. I’ve wanted to learn the dance ever since I saw 13 going on 30. It was a good movie.