Missyon43things

As long as I remember I’ve been thinking too much. Makes me doubt on any decision I have to make. When I’m sure and someone brings out something else then it makes me question my decision and the circle starts all over again. I never saw it as a problem but now I do. I question about life, love and everything in general. Things that there’s no answer I keep tormenting myself to find one. It affects my love life as I always question my partner’s behaviors and actions and after spending all my time thinking I question my own feelings. I guess it doesn’t allow me to just be free and live the present moment. I will focus on anything that bothers me (even small things) and make it bigger and over analyze anything and everything. Got me wondering if I’m crazy and what’s wrong with me. Got me googleing the net for solutions and questioning myself and evrtyhing about me. It’s an never-ending cycle. Sometimes, I literally have to yell at myself and say “stop it, what good am I doing to me” and after I feel better until I restart. I feel like I don’t let myself to feel and question “how do I feel” and “how am I supposed to feel”. I feel like I don’t even know what I want, who I am, what do I enjoy and I have to keep looking and questioning. Basically, I am never sure !

I decided to consult. As I need to live my life fully and be more confident and stop over-analyzing and worrying (what if this, what if that). I need to understand that there’s no solution to everything and that nothing is or will ever be perfect.

I hope that it will work. All i know is that the first step is to aknowledge that we have a problem and to find ways to get better.

Maybe it’s just a problem of self-confidence, maybe it’s just simple. Well, I’ve been over-analyzing what it could be for too long and now taking actions.

Going tonight for my first consult. I’ll keep you guys posted on my road to let myself be free.

Working for others is not as fulfilling as working for yourself.
I want to be able to start something, build it up and watch it grow.
I have so many ideas in mind that I’m stuck at that point : Where to start. One thing I know is that I don’t see myself working for others for the rest of my life and I need to take risks.

I started a daily journal where I only write about the best parts of my day. Even if I have a bad day, I have to find all the pleasant events and write them down. If I can keep it up, by the end of the year, when I’ll read my journal I’ll see how positive the year went and how wonderful things and happy moments happened.

This is really different from any journal I’ve had.
I like to write down in order to vent out any stress or frustrations or anything bothering me. It always makes me feel good at that moment, but reading back those journals, it seems as if nothing good happens.

So how about a positive journal ! Try it, not easy when you really have a bad day but it’s therapeutic and forces you to point out positiveness.