MisterOL

I promised to be really honest with this so while I made it through yesterday I had a drink with my friend last night at dinner. I realized that while changing my behavior at home is working, the socializing thing is not. I was oh-so proud of yesterday, then oh-so bummed this morning. BUT, I need to dust myself off and get back on the pony. The thing I am pleased with is that I didn’t come home and continue drinking and I didn’t stay out late drinking.

My next step is to figure out a strategy for going out. I have one in place for this weekend. It’s a birthday party and a friend and I are promising each other not to drink. That will help.

One other thing is that I am going to take the advice of Josh and talk to people at tomorrow morning’s AA meeting. They have it all set up and so easy to reach out but I have just been to shy and left right after the meetings. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow I am marching right over to the people in the front and talking to them and getting some names. I can’t do this alone.

One other thing I want to mention. I really beat myself up this morning and just had to stop it. Every step is a positive step and every fall is a lesson. If I sit and kick myself, I will just end up saying “to hell with it” and I don’t want to do that.

I went to an AA meeting today. I have been very resistant to go to AA meetings. I have gone in the past but never liked them or thought I didn’t. Today’s was different. A totally different group than the other meetings I went to and the topic of the meeting fit right into the way I think. I got a lot out of it. I think if I just let the Universe do it’s thing and trust it I can really stop drinking this time. I have a whole day ahead of me and am looking forward to it.

Day 1 is complete with the help of some great people that really inspired me today. I am so grateful for the support. It was pretty hard making it through an entire day and night, but what a sense of accomplishment you feel once you have done it! I am rolling with the mood swings I am feeling and the cravings. Both pass. Tomorrow I am going to check out a meeting. I have been down this road too many times to think I can do it alone.