MisterOL

For the last three or four years I have been trying to quit drinking. I could mostly go a couple of days, maybe three. If you look at my posts here it’s the same thing over and over. Well, after falling off that horse so many times I think I have finally learned how to ride that sobriety wagon and not fall off. And, you know what? It isn’t as horribly hard as I thought it would be. Oh, I miss drinking, but I don’t miss being drunk. I don’t miss forgetting everything all the time. I don’t miss not sleeping.

Now, I have only been two weeks, but I have made it this far. If you are trying to stop drinking and you keep falling off the sober wagon, then just dust yourself off and get back on again. Eventually you will learn how to ride, too!

I promised to be really honest with this so while I made it through yesterday I had a drink with my friend last night at dinner. I realized that while changing my behavior at home is working, the socializing thing is not. I was oh-so proud of yesterday, then oh-so bummed this morning. BUT, I need to dust myself off and get back on the pony. The thing I am pleased with is that I didn’t come home and continue drinking and I didn’t stay out late drinking.

My next step is to figure out a strategy for going out. I have one in place for this weekend. It’s a birthday party and a friend and I are promising each other not to drink. That will help.

One other thing is that I am going to take the advice of Josh and talk to people at tomorrow morning’s AA meeting. They have it all set up and so easy to reach out but I have just been to shy and left right after the meetings. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow I am marching right over to the people in the front and talking to them and getting some names. I can’t do this alone.

One other thing I want to mention. I really beat myself up this morning and just had to stop it. Every step is a positive step and every fall is a lesson. If I sit and kick myself, I will just end up saying “to hell with it” and I don’t want to do that.

I went to an AA meeting today. I have been very resistant to go to AA meetings. I have gone in the past but never liked them or thought I didn’t. Today’s was different. A totally different group than the other meetings I went to and the topic of the meeting fit right into the way I think. I got a lot out of it. I think if I just let the Universe do it’s thing and trust it I can really stop drinking this time. I have a whole day ahead of me and am looking forward to it.