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MisterRetsim

MisterRetsim's Life List

2. 1.

   I want to assemble one million people, give them each a t-shirt to wear with one word screen printed on the front (covered up, so nobody can tell what either they, or anybody else's word is), and have them mingle, wander around, socialize, and... 1 entry

   1 person

3. 2.

   I want you to check out my new website! 1 entry

   1 person

4. 3.

   I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables. 1 cheer

   1 person

5. 4.

   I want to take fashion advice from a “foolish” alligator. 1 entry

   1 person

6. 5.

   I want to hear science proclaim that lizards secrete wisdom when chewed, because that would prove that Mr. Fizzlebush is the wisest being on the planet.

   1 person

7. 6.

   I want to see a wise man walk into a bar delivering a parable, only to get shot in the face, because there ain’t no room for wisdom in this bar, Buddy.

   1 person

8. 7.

   I want to distribute rearview mirrors to sexy women at the club, in the hopes that they’ll back it up on me. 2 cheers

   1 person

9. 8.

   I want Louisville Slugger eyelashes, so I could really bat them at someone.

   1 person

10. 9.

    I want to transform my checkbook into a comic book, because it is both funny and inspiring. 1 entry

    1 person

11. 10.

    I want to be aaarguably the greatest pirate ever. 3 cheers

    1 person

12. 11.

    I want to use the paint matching system to match a can of paint with the exact tint of my skin tone when I’m tan. Then, in the winter, I’ll completely submerge my body in the skin-tone paint. I’ll look like summer and smell like a new house, and I’ll prob 1 entry

    1 person

13. 12.

    I want to have great sex on a treadmill, because great sex should be exhausting. 2 cheers

    1 person

14. 13.

    find and cooperatively cheer-bomb 43T newbies 50 team members . 1 cheer

    32 people

15. 14.

    I want to strive for mediocrity. Sometimes it’s not always good to try to be the best you can be. For example, if I’m a patch of grass, and I strive to be greener than all my friends, I’ll probably be the first to be eaten by a cow. 1 cheer

    1 person

16. 15.

    Ever since I can remember, I’ve always wanted to have been the second man born without an umbilical cord, because... 1 entry

    1 person

17. 16.

    I want to meet a man named Jameson James, a man I’ll come to look up to, even though he’s a midget and kind of strange. 2 cheers

    1 person

18. 17.

    I want to make love, eat a cheeseburger, and then make love again. Ok, so I only want to actually do two of those three things, but both things I’ll enjoy more with mayonnaise. 2 cheers

    1 person

19. 18.

    I want to write a story called, “I like to spoon after I fork,” about one of my original t-shirts that never really took off. In fact, I’m still wearing it. 1 cheer

    1 person

20. 19.

    I want to be able to pay my rent in peanut butter, so when people ask how I’m doing, I could literally reply, “I’m scraping by.”

    1 person

21. 20.

    I want to write a story about a family who lived in an igloo, and when they went on vacation, their cat burned down the house, because it wanted a drink of water. This cat was Mr. Fizzlebush.

    1 person

22. 21.

    I want to extract revenge on Officer Not-so-friendly. 1 entry

    1 person

23. 22.

    I want to make money off the legal system. 1 entry . 2 cheers

    1 person

24. 23.

    I want to celebrate and remember my past glories. 1 entry

    1 person

25. 24.

    I want to meet a man who has a red-velvet cake for a head, because every year, on my birthday, I always feel like eating someone’s face. 3 cheers

    1 person

26. 25.

    I want to write a series of books called, “Haiku.” There will be a total of seventeen books in the series, and each book will be composed of one monosyllabic word. 1 cheer

    1 person

27. 26.

    I want to have the world's largest and greatest interiority complex.

    1 person

28. 27.

    I want you to believe. 1 entry

    1 person

29. 28.

    I want my words to illuminate like the sun, as I give my daily lecture on photosynthesis to my houseplants. 3 cheers

    1 person

30. 29.

    meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave. 5 cheers

    29 people

31. 30.

    I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. 3 cheers

    4 people

32. 31.

    I want to know, as do many psychologists, what it means to be human? And I’m not the only one who wants to know this. So, too, do the rest of the beings on my planet. 3 cheers

    1 person

33. 32.

    I want to understand my dad. 1 entry . 2 cheers

    1 person

34. 33.

    I want to be more optimistic, starting by believing that my past was absolutely horrible, and couldn’t have been worse.

    1 person

35. 34.

    If monoliths were massive monosyllabic words, I’d want to write a haiku called, “Stonehenge.” 2 cheers

    1 person

36. 35.

    I want to write, “For a good time, have your best friend call Sally at 555-0103” on a public restroom wall.

    1 person

37. 36.

    I want to meet a man who races horses for a living, because I’ll bet he can run really fast.

    1 person

38. 37.

    I want to line the inside of my skull with reflective glass, so I could see who I really am.

    1 person

39. 38.

    I want my girlfriend to be a stronger person, but I just can’t seem to convince her to take steroids no matter how many highlights of Barry Bonds I show her. 1 cheer

    1 person

40. 39.

    I want to be a hero, without having to be heroic.

    1 person

41. 40.

    I want to see two pairs of monozygotic twins get married, because I’ll bet each person would be wondering, Is my twin sleeping with my spouse?

    1 person

42. 41.

    I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt, especially when I’m in the car.

    1 person

43. 42.

    I want Tylenol to team up with Trojan to create childproof seals for vaginas. 3 cheers

    1 person

44. 43.

    I want to write a book called, “Firewood.” It will be a book that’s destined to be burned. 4 cheers

    1 person