Mizzoctober

getting one on Friday the 14th, ekkkk should be fun and scary at the same time, not to mention painfull? it’s going to be on my uper thighs right below my ass reading “Bella” on my left and “Vita” on my right back thigh, which means “beautiful life” it will be in scrip, hopefully i’ll get it the way i want for how much i have to spend on it. i think it will deff. be woth the pain though in the end. something i feel like i need to do while still in my youthfull age.

drinking vodka EVERYNIGHT for about a year now, it’s crazy. not even that i just turned 20 been drinking since 16 but just reacently it’s been a year straight, thinking i’m on the road to waking up to shakes and puking in the morning cause i don’t have booze in my system, in fact this morning was the first that that happened. idk how to stop or slow down. it makes me feel happy…er? well when i am drinking it’s usually to get away from how misrable i am, so yes i think it’s a deeper problem but for now the vodka cures whatever is going on in my head. i hate where i am in life and i think thats why i drink so much, but yet i wanted to see if it was the drinking that was making my situation worse, but i don’t know how to put it on pause so i could see just for a month even if thats possible to see if that was the case, even as i write this now i’m backspacing so much just to make sure i make every word right. drunk as hell. yet another night i pass out instead of falling asleap. how the hell am i sapose to get out of this habit?
i just want to be happy with my life. and at the moment this seems the only way out, even for just a few hours…..........