Mmmber

My closest sister is in trouble.

Well, she’s been in trouble for 3 years but now she can’t deny it any longer. And it isn’t so much HER as it is her “husband.” I use the quotations there because he is a lousy husband and it turns out their marriage probably isn’t legal.

Trying to keep a long story short, she is severely insecure and won’t even go to the grocery store alone let alone be a single, independent adult in the world. He is 5 years older than her, in this country illegally and useless. He can’t (won’t) work and just sits at home all day playing video games and drinking beer. A few times a month he’d work with my grand-parent’s landscapers around town. 6 weeks ago he took the car though he isn’t suppose to drive and instead of just using it for “work” like he said, he went got drunk, drove and was pulled over. I mean, in that TINY town that has 4 bureaus of patrol at all times (Tribal, BHPD, BHSO, LVPD) he had to have been asking for this.

So he was arrested and they lost the car because my sister didn’t have the money to even think about getting it out after the 30-day hold. He was transferred all over AZ and as soon as he was released on the DUI charges, Immigration took him right into custody. He’s going to be deported. Maybe for 3 months or maybe for 10 years depending on how mickey-rigged the system decides to swing this time. At this point it seems his marriage to a citizen doesn’t matter and I don’t quite understand why not but neither does my sister or my grandma who has been trying to be as supportive as possible while also, like the rest of us, hoping they just take him away tomorrow.

My sister’s emotions have certainly evolved throughout this ordeal; from so deeply lonely and scared that she wouldn’t hardly move to extremely pissed and betrayed. It wasn’t until we spoke this past Sunday however that she actually sounded like she is entertaining the idea of leaving him. I suggested that she just do it right NOW. Just stop talking to him (he hardly calls her anyway though; just to ask for money to be put on his books) and to stop taking calls from his deranged mother and just be done with it. Forget divorce proceedings, he used a fake ID anyway and if for some reason in the future marriage licenses are so well tracked and cross referenced that it comes up, “he was illegal, arrested and deported” sounds pretty valid to me.

The thing is, she’s NEVER been alone. Ever. But what I spent 3 hours on the phone trying to convince her of is the fact that the she HAS been alone. Maybe he was physically in the next room but he wasn’t there for her, didn’t contribute anything to their life or potential future and is a total asshole. He just is. He’s rude, sarcastic, foul-mouthed at VERY inappropriate times. He’s 28 going on 15, the way he acts. 15 may even be giving him too much credit. Okay… I’m bashing him now just to do it because it feels so good! But the point is, he hasn’t been anything but a sucking leech on her and she deserves better but she just does not think so. She pretty much hates herself. In fact, ever since we were kids, she’s been trying to be me. And when that failed, she turned to drugs. She was strong enough to get sober but then it wasn’t long before her “husband” showed up.

So… since this entry is now SUPER long (I actually just paused for a moment and thought- why am I pouring my heart out here? And I know why: ordinarily, this is the sort of thing I’d discuss with Kaz =( )

Anyway, I offered to move there. To that small town to be her roommate and show her that she is awesome on her own and that there are things I’ve always admired about her and that she CAN and WILL be much better off without that douche-bag. She’s so fed up with herself; she’s super overweight, doesn’t consume ANY water and can’t even work a job where standing is required the entire time.

My mind has totally wandered now and I’m now SERIOUSLY considering the move. More to come.

Disregard this stream of consciousness rambling.

I should NOT do this but I’m an over-achiever and I would rather invest my personal time into doing something beneficial for the WHOLE PICTURE as opposed to hoping things get better by themselves.

My hours were cut because the bottom-line is down. The bottom line is down because fewer PPNs are being written. Fewer are being written because the guys don’t know what they are doing. Half of them barely speak English, the other half is getting fed up with the Corporate bullshit and even the field manager feels so walked-on he doesn’t care to even TRY to train the new guys. And we have a SUPER HIGH turn-over rate because of said issues.

I know that my stupid little bullet-ed training guide is not going to perform a miracle but maybe it will spark something in even one guy that makes him perform his job better.

I’ve never been a big fan of meat and two years ago dropped to eating meat once a week. Before I knew it, I didn’t even crave it. But then I moved to Portland and became uber poor. Why is it the food with meat is less expensive than vegetables and grains? It seems pretty ass-backwards but alas on my slim food budget I have regressed to eating meat almost daily.

As I mentioned in my previous entry, I have 8 mini beef burritos in the freezer… boy, I wonder if I’ll even be able to finish those… I was going to say once their gone I will implement NO MORE MEAT but just thinking about them kind of grossed me out so I guess we’ll see what happens!