I don’t know why I stress, but I always do it. Stressed about a lot of things. Making my career work, getting a job, money, and mostly when things are going to stop being so weird as a 23-year-old woman. I feel so overwhelmed at times, maybe all I need is just a good cry once in a while instead of bottling it up.
My blood pressure was high at my doctor appointment because I was worrying. This was a sign to me just how much I worry, and how it needs to stop.
Maybe I will, I always get this feeling that I am going to have a child someday but I can barely take care of myself right now. My fiance and I are getting married next spring, and we are planning it slowly. I don’t know, sometimes I feel really emotional about life since I hit my twenties. I feel so stressed and I know a child wouldn’t be a good idea until I have things under control. I worry a lot, and I hate it. Sometimes I desire a little girl, though. Maybe I will have one one day.
I just know that I wanna enjoy my life now. I could be a great mother. But right now, I want to be able to do the things I want in my career and relationship with my fiance. I know when I am ready, I will be able to give the love and care I can to a child.
I’m already a family with my fiance, he says “we are family” all the time. So I guess I am half way there, right? :-)