Mouse1996

I’m not a big fan of the chocolate one, but I will eat it if its the only one. I like Pocky. A lite sweet treat. Its worth trying at least once.

I have sex several times in my life with one guy. To be honest I hated it. It hurt and I felt like I was just being used, but I let it go on because I didn’t want to be alone. So I promised myself the next time I have sex I will be making love. The guy I did it with comes around every so often wanting me to do it with him again, but thanks to my new promise I will not allow myself to go through something that will not satisfy me just because I am lonely. I will make love one day, even if its the one and only time I do or the last time I have sex, I will make love. I deserve that. We all do.

I honestly do think about it everyday. I think its due to my weight. I think once I get the weight off me and deal with some other looming issues these thoughts will go away. I want to enjoy life. If we all have to go, I want to be able to say I enjoyed it while I had it. I hope we can all do this one day.

I already lost 10 pounds so I am going for another 10. Small goals and baby steps to my goal of 100 pounds down.

It can seem impossible but you can do it. I did it with diet alone. So for those of you dieting and exercising, you can totally do it. Keep your goal in mind and meet me at the finish line. ;-)

When I die,I want to be able to say I have now regrets and I lived my life was just fine and I had fun and enjoyed it. I can do it and I will do it.

Reading all the entries here made me cry. I have been dealing with panic attacks for a little over a year now and I think smaller ones for about 4 years. I have stopped driving, I can’t be alone, and I think I am dying all the time. I feel I am ruining my family’s life. How did I go from woman of the world to woman who sees no point in living sometimes. I watch other people live through my bedroom window and think “That used to be me.” I don’t want to take pills, and when I went for therapy the interviewer laughed at me several times. So forget that. I feel lost and alone and even though I know I am not the only one who has this. I had a bad one today and it had been the first in a long time. So I am glad I don’t have them to often, but still having one once in a while is still bad. I wish they would go away. I want my life back. I hope all of us reach this goal. I can’t tell you how much it helps to know I’m not alone. Good luck everyone.

Mostly I want to lose the weight to feel better. I want to be in better health. Looking better is nice also, but this is about health for me. When I was younger it was about looking good, but now I want to be healthier so I can live a better and hopefully longer life.