Movenpicky

I don’t only need to find my passion or what I love doing becuz I know I love to do alot of things, but I need to find that thing that I wanna do everyday when I wake up in the morning, that thing that when I feel like a failure, it reminds me of the real me and gives me faith in myself again
I need to have meaning for my existence

i need to learn how to draw becuz i wanna be a fashion designer and i have alot of ideas in my mind but i need to put those ideas on paper and the only way to do that is through drawing, i know its not easy to acquire such skill but i’m willing to go for it

i’m so tired and desperate right now , i’m 20 years old and all my life i’ve been doing everything just to impress other people, impressing others gives me this momentarily false feeling of happiness and i ve been doing this for so long that i dun even think about it anymore, it just happenes automatically
for example, i wanna lose weight not becuz i wanna be healthy and look good for myself, but becuz i dun want anyone to say iam fat , and becuz i wanna look better than everybody
i wish i could be free from this pattern of thinking
that’s why i thought if i really find who i truly am , maybe this would go away and i would start to actually do things that make me happy