Mshellynn

Not giving up per se, just don’t want emails daily about it.

1 down, 20 to go. Now I am just waiting for the yeah or nay from the mortgage company!

I met a wonderful man and began a wonderful 9 month relationship that for all intents and purposes looked like it was something that was going to be forever. I’ve never met a man that treated me so well. What a sweet sweet man he was. Considerate, excellent manners, fabulous lover, generous, communicative. We spent 9 months smiling at eachother, talking to eachother, holding hands, being eachothers best friend until da dum dum he decided he didn’t want kids in his life full time. I am a single mom of a beautiful 5 year old boy and sweet, loving 15 year old girl. My ex is almost 40 and has never had kids, has never explored the thought of having kids until he met me. We spent 50% of our time alone with just the two of us, (my kids go to their Dad’s for 3 1/2 days a week) 25% all together doing family type stuff and 25% away from eachother, he at his place and me at mine. He seemed to have bonded with my kids. Played with my son, taught him how to swim, played cars with him, played video games with him, seemed to truly enjoy him and he had a great report with my daugher.
On the morning of New Years Eve we all went out for breakfast and my son was pokey pokey getting his seat belt on afterwards. My ex seemed to get frustrated with him (not saying anything to my son though) and said to me “I don’t know how you can put up with that!”. He had an unusual look on his face, one of seriousness. Later that day, I called him and could tell from his tone something was not going well. I brought up the subject and he said that he had decided that he didn’t want kids in his life full time, couldn’t stand the “5 minutes here and 5 minutes there” that my son (kids in general) wastes. He went on to say that kids were complications and that he just couldn’t see himself doing it long term but BUT still wanted to date me, just not be around my kids. I broke up with him. I’m a mom, I’m a package deal. Love me, love my kids. It’s not like they are going anywhere anytime soon. I love them more than life itself and they are a part of me. They make me who I am. I am sad and depressed about the break up because it felt like a great relationship. I love him. I don’t know how I could have been so wrong AND don’t know why he went on 9 months with a single mom when he didn’t really want kids. (He told me he knew it couldn’t be a long term thing with me 1 month after we started dating because I am the mom of a preschooler). Any way, that is my wah, wah tale. I love him but it’s over! It’s been 20 days. I cry atleast once a day, the pain hasn’t lessened at all. I wonder if I made the wrong choice. Part of me believes he’d ‘come around’ to wanting kids, loving mine if he just spent more time with us and then another part of me thinks that at almost 40, it’s ridiculous to continue something with a man who doesn’t like my kids!!