MuffyDoubleSci

Physically, I believe that I can say that I have friends. I go to lunch with the gamer boys, they say hello when they see me in the hall, and they treat me just like one of the guys. I enjoy this. But then when I have to choose people to sit with on a bus or choose a partner to work with, I get depressed. Noone would want to sit with me or wants to work with me. I’m allready dreading tommorow when I have to pick a new partner in a class. Luckily one of my gbs is in my class. Also, half of the guys have girlfriends, so this makes them unavailable to me. Since I have begun going to lunch with my new friends my depression has lessened and I consider myself to be happy. But when I have to interact with other people I sink deeper into my depression. This confusion makes me feel like shit and I dislike this feeling. I do not know what to do. I want to make friends outside of the ones I have at lunch, but I just do not know how.

I’m 150 again. Last week I ballooned to 158. That’s gross. I’ve sorta stopped eating. Three days ago I had 15 calories, yesterday around 350, and I have not eaten today. I walked a mile today, as I do everyday. I really need to bulk up my exercise routine if I want to lose weight. I’ve decided that I cannot binge, or eat “normally,” until Christmas. Only 21 days left.

My last entry ended with that I hoped that I could sit with one of my new friends at lunch. Well, for the past two months, I have been going to lunch with my geeky guy friend. He introduced me to his friends, a bunch of very friendly gamer boys, and I am so much happier. The next thing that I want to do is hand out with them outside of school. Something to look forward to, I hope.