Natasha21

I have began to cry again feel really low with the exams and everything I’ve lost all intrest just want to stay in bed all day and cry I have no control over my life just feel so empty and pointless. Sometimes I feel soo happy and I plan all these things I want to do then someone says something or something bad happens and thats it Im curled up in bed and dont want to go anywhere or face anyone. I sometimes feel that I dont fit into this world I’m a firm believer in the survival of the fittest You know those who can adapt to their environment survive well I cant adapt I just run and hide from life I exist I dont live I havnt lived for about 5years now! Whats the point?

these 3 years in a way have draged and yet the have also flown by anyway now the last days are here and I just cant wait. Just need to keep focoused though ie I should be revisng now 1st exam on tuesday, then wednesday then thursday 10th which sucks I mean they could have spread them out a litle better? At least the other 3 are kind of spread so will panic less about those for now anyway.

Its my fault! no its his fault! Y didnt he y didnt I? I cant go on like this thinkiing what if, its doing my head in!!!! I sooo want to move on and forghet him but I cant, I know I was a total bitch in not realising uve always been there but u never made a move or took a chance and when i finaly had the guts to try i got nothing back,maybe thats ur vendetta on me and now im stuck here thinking of u and i shall remain alone forever. I miss u and I cant tell u that because u will not listen or maybe I just dont have the guts to, so y cant i get u out of my head.
Cant you atleast tell me u hate me or that u never wona see me again or do something beacuse this is gona sound like a total cliche but i need clousure at least give me that :(