Last month I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I’ve been extremely hurt and heart broken and feeling like I’ve completely lost myself. Now that a little bit of time has passed since the break up I am starting to find little by little who I am. What I really like to do. What I really like to watch. Who I really want to be around. I still have a long way until I know myself, but I found this quote and I’ve just been trying to live by it.
Ninjaa's Life List
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1. stop procrastinating
1 entry . 1 cheer26,927 people -
2. not be scared of driving
3 entries . 2 cheers13 people -
3. buy more dresses
2 entries21 people -
4. make less negative assumptions about people
1 entry . 4 cheers1 person -
5. learn to forgive
2 entries438 people -
6. stop worrying so much
2 entries . 2 cheers697 people -
7. learn photoshop
2 entries1,469 people -
8. Get a tattoo
2 entries . 1 cheer20,243 people -
9. be more spontaneous
1 entry . 1 cheer1,186 people -
10. overcome all my fears
1 entry . 1 cheer8 people -
11. find myself
2 entries . 1 cheer1,796 people -
12. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination
1 cheer18,549 people -
13. To live instead of exist
1 entry10,869 people -
14. Travel to other countries
45 people -
15. Write a best selling book
60 people -
16. own a horse
670 people -
17. fly in a hot air balloon
322 people -
18. be more creative
1,645 people -
19. learn to belly dance
2,296 people -
20. stop holding grudges
125 people -
21. change someone's life
1 cheer1,313 people -
22. forgive my past
16 people -
23. be more independant
1 entry106 people -
24. to read more books
16 people -
25. Take more pictures
14,304 people -
26. let go
948 people -
27. dance more often
1 entry168 people -
28. scuba dive
2,185 people -
29. Take more pictures of the world
6 people -
30. stop doubting myself
2 entries245 people -
31. have more faith and trust more
2 cheers1 person -
32. get my own place
3 entries . 1 cheer771 people -
33. be able to talk to people
5 people -
34. control my anxiety
1 entry157 people -
35. laugh more often
1 entry255 people -
36. forget the past
314 people -
37. learn to ride a motorcycle
1,665 people -
38. buy more shoes
157 people
So a few weeks ago on like a Wednesday my girlfriend asked me if on that Friday I wanted to go get a tattoo or something. I agreed, kind of thinking we wouldn’t actually. So I never really considered if I would get a tattoo or piercing. Or even what I’d get tattooed or pierced. Once I got there I just decided to get my lip pierced.
The pictute is from the next day. It was just a little red when the picture was taken. There wasn’t any swelling at all. Talking just hurt sooo damn bad.
Recently my now ex boyfriend betrayed me. At first I was soo angry with him. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to die. Everything made me angry. Everything reminded me of him and his betrayal. I thought I would never be happy again. I felt like I could never trust someone again. Especially not a male.
Although its only been one month, vs the two years we were together. I’m beginning to forgive what he did. I don’t know when I’ll honestly 100% forgive him, but I am trying my best to. Not because I want to be able to work things out with him (at this point its just not gonna happen) but because I want to truly move on and find inner peace. I don’t want this to affect my future relationships. I know I will move on and I know I will be happy again. I don’t want that tainted by the pain of the past.


