NurseCutie

Well I fell in love and I’m still in love…I’m trying to move on now..I really don’t feel like the person I love loves me too…I hope I can recover from this…I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before, I’ve had these feelings for a while and never verbally expressed “I love You” to that person, but he should know. I don’t know what to do…

And I haven’t really commited to anything in my life right now. Not even my job…I’m traveling moving around every 3 mths….I want to settle down in a certain area though. On the flip side I did enroll in school this week to pursue my master’s degree. Isn’t that considered commiting to something? I still don’t have a boyfriend, although I could. We had that “talk” the other day and I had an excuse…I need help. I need to let go of past hurts and relationships. I want someone who REALLY loves me….

I say I have fears of commitment, but I do it anyways. I brought a house, have contracts on various things, was in a dead-end relationship for almost 6 years. It just scares me sometimes to be “locked” into something. Like I’m owned by whatever it is (signed my life away maybe?) Oh well. I’m scared of contracts…On the flip side though I would like to be married. I know what your thinking, BIG commitment, right? It’s different when you believe this person is the one you want to spend your life with. I can commit to God and the man I’m supposed to be with. I’ve never had a commitment problem in relationships as you can tell from my 2nd sentance.