OSUabbey

the past month or so has been incredibly difficult for me with stress from my job, parental stress, relationship complications, and stressing and worrying about graduation and becoming an adult. after talking with a friend, i realized that i can’t control what happens around me, i can just take it all in stride and be the best person i can be. and to me, this means not letting myself get dragged down by depression (which i let myself do for a while), and telling myself that everything is going to be alright if i just breathe and continue loving the people who make me the happiest… including myself.

my newest tattoo on my left foot is a pair of paratrooper wings intertwined with a rose to signify my grandparents. my grandfather was a paratrooper and my grandmother is an expert gardener. we like to tell her that her whole hand is green, not just her thumb. my grandparents took the place of my father when he left years ago, so i wanted to have a part of them with me forever, even after they are gone. i had never felt pain as bad as this foot tattoo (even though i have one on my right foot as well), but the pain that i went through was nothing compared to the struggles my grandparents faced everyday growing up in the 30s. they mean the world to me, and now i can talk about them whenever someone asks what my tattoo signifies.

i think its time to throw away the hurt and hatred i have from my childhood. i’ve learned that things happen for a reason, so its only fair to say my father left for a reason. i don’t know what that reason is yet, but i wouldn’t mind finding out. i’ve held so many grudges against him since i was young, and i need to let them go. he’s still my father whether he’s around or not.