OasisOfCalm




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Read more books (read all 37 entries…)
14 March

Started reading “The Wind in the Willows” by Kenneth Grahame. Haven’t read a lot so far, but will read some more.

I’d had a break from reading, didn’t realize it’d been so long – but it was actually ‘cause I watched a show called “Bringing Books To Life” that I felt like reading again.



get over him (read all 59 entries…)
Hoping that some writing may be cathartic

So… I haven’t been thinking about this very much (him/memories/whatever) for quite awhile (EXCEPT on his birthday last Saturday, I probably shouldn’t have even remembered that it was, but I couldn’t help it). It was basically just playing “unhappy birthday” over and over, but knowing he probably had a “fantastic” day with his “oh so amazing” new g/f – why do I still think of her as NEW, they have been together longer than we were :O (who is NOT amazing btw, I am better and it’s a shame he couldn’t see that… I’m not just being jealous, at the start of their relationship she was mocking the fact that he chose her over me and disregarding my feelings completely, I wouldn’t have done that kind of thing, I never posted on his page anything negative about the ex I knew about, even though I was worried he still wanted her and plus he never left anyone for me). This is all progress, right? I mean that until right now, apart from a few days ago, I really wasn’t thinking about it much. However, I am not ready to say I’m done with this yet. Today I am feeling particularly low about it, I’m not 100% sure why, but my guess is I haven’t been having a great few days really (I won’t go into it). The last time I remember truly having fun was probably the night of my birthday when I managed to go out, to a show and then a club (OK aside from arguments with a few people earlier that day) and in the day when I listened to music/watched comedy/had nice food, that was the start of this month. It’s not all been bad, don’t get me wrong, and most of it actually isn’t anything to do with him – but then today I was just thinking I want things to be better, including being happier. Whether I like it or not, I was happy with him. It’s not him I miss, though. Not at all. Just “memories” of the him I knew. That’s what I miss, you know? It’s almost like I miss a character, that he created – that character was my b/f. He was a fictional character, but he was nice, he was attractive, we had fun together, for the most part. We never argued, even when I had some issues when he was seeming to be a bit aloof, or even that night he said he wasn’t over his ex, it just didn’t bother me – OK it did, but not too much, I still wanted him. I wanted him right up until he said he didn’t want me, even when I felt betrayed when I found out he’d lied, saying he hadn’t talked to his ex when he had. I guess those were the cracks showing, he was “coming out of character”, showing his true colours – an immature, mean, insensitive horrible little boy who shouldn’t really be pretending to be something he isn’t, but then he’d go back into character, we’d laugh together watching our favourite shows, we’d kiss, we’d stay in and have fun and we’d go out and have fun. It was never perfect… but being with him, it just usually seemed to help. It cheered me up. Thinking about it, maybe I made up the character – but he helped by acting like the character, mostly. Even when he left me I wanted him back (at the start), which is stupid, he upset me a lot. I was only with him 3 months, why did he have such an effect on me? I now haven’t seen him for longer than we were together, we’ve been broken up nearly 5 months (it will be in about a week). I met him nearly 8 months ago then. I don’t even know how things would have been if we had stayed together, but there’s no point thinking about what could have been. He stopped pretending to care, he moved on so quickly. I’m the one left behind. I still have good things, I still have my favourite shows, I still can stay in and have fun and go out and have fun (sometimes). Just not with him. Not with the character that one or both of us created for my happiness. If I’m a character in one of my favourite shows (HIMYM) then I feel like Ted, and I feel like he’s Robin (close enough to the name, I guess). It’s not that though, it’s just he has a hard time getting over her, but the differences are huge – they stayed friends, she’s actually a nice person (she just didn’t want to settle down at that time), they were together a year (and friends much longer)... plus I’m not an architect. ha. I’m trying to bring some humour into this though. Because right now, wrong or right, I am just sat here feeling low, confused, not great basically. I need to get myself out of this funk. I need to find a positive way to deal with these feelings, just sitting and wanting to find a time machine, or bring the character back to me, or get lost in imagination – well imagination can be good, I could be creative with it – but it won’t change anything. If, like Scroobius Pip, I could take negativity and make it inspire me – then that would be a positive. Other than that, I could just sit and laugh at my favourite shows, listen to my favourite music, by myself. I’m better than the character anyway. I hope that things will get better. Until then, I just wanted to write. Hoping it would be cathartic in some way.



brush my teeth twice a day (read all 74 entries…)
10 - 16 march

M – 1
T – 1
W – 1
T –
F –
S –
S -



See Russell Howard live
Russell Howard

Been a fan of him for ages, he’s very funny and attractive. Saw him live as a birthday present this year.



watch every malcom in the middle episode (read all 13 entries…)
Yay!

I now have all 7 seasons on DVD.

Today I watched some more episodes, finished season 3.



post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :) (read all 498 entries…)
Gaming

Do you playing games online? Which ones?
Do you like playing games on your mobile (cell) phone? Which ones?
Do you like video games? Which do you like?
What consoles do you have, if any?
Do you play computer games?
Would you classify yourself as a gamer?
What’s the last game you played?



post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :) (read all 498 entries…)
Comedy/laughter

What is your favourite comedy TV show?
Who is your favourite stand-up comedian?
Link to a funny video you’ve seen online?
What’s your favourite joke?



post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :) (read all 498 entries…)
Ugh

Got heartburn. Any tips to (hopefully) get rid of it naturally and quickly? Anything to definitely avoid? For example I’m not drinking alcohol or having any spicy food tonight.



post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :) (read all 498 entries…)
Pancake day

Are you having any? Already had any? What’s your favourite pancake topping?



post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :) (read all 498 entries…)
Age is a number

1. How old are you?
2. Can you name a fictional character that has been the age you are?
3. Can you name a song that mentions that age?

I’ve just had my 27th birthday a few days ago. I’m the same age as Ted Mosby was at the start of How I Met Your Mother. Can’t think of any songs though – do you know any?



Watch 43 TED talks (read all 22 entries…)
#8

Christopher Ryan: Are we designed to be sexual omnivores?



Exercise at least 3 times a week (read all 31 entries…)
Today

Did Wii Fit for a bit under 10 mins.



Exercise at least 3 times a week (read all 31 entries…)
Yesterday

Did Wii Fit for 10 mins.



clean out my inbox (read all 26 entries…)
Wow...

I just checked and at the moment there are 5000 messages in the inbox. Deleted quite a few recently, I don’t know how it builds up so much. I won’t be able to read all of those, so I guess I’ll delete quite a few without even opening them if I’m to ever sort it! I don’t think I even sign up to all that many newsletters anymore, but go way too long without reading any.



Watch 43 TED talks (read all 22 entries…)
#7

McKenna Pope: Want to be an activist? Start with your toys



do first things first (read all 5 entries…)
To-Do

1. Hoover
2. Change sheets
3. Washing (need washing powder)
4. Diary up to date
5. Declutter papers

EDIT: Hoovering and sheets need doing again, but sheets need washing now too… (8 Feb)



brush my teeth twice a day (read all 74 entries…)
27 Jan - 2 Feb

M – 2
T – 1 and face
W – 1 and face
T – 1?
F – 0
S – 1
S – 0

going to try and wash face at least once a day too



get over him (read all 59 entries…)
Avril Lavigne - Forgotten

I’m giving up on everything
Because you messed me up
Don’t know how much you screwed it up
You never listened that’s just too bad

Because I’m moving on, I won’t forget
You were the one that was wrong
I know I need to step up and be strong
Don’t patronize me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted?
Do you forget it now? You never got it
Do you get it now?

Gotta get away
There’s no point in thinking about yesterday
It’s too late now, it won’t ever be the same
We’re so different now

Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted?
Do you forget it now? You never got it
Do you get it now?

I know I wanna run away, I know I wanna run away
Run away
If only I could run away, if only I could run away
Run away

I told you what I wanted, I told you what I wanted
What I wanted
But I was forgotten, I won’t be forgotten
Never again

Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted?
Do you forget it now? You never got it
Do you get it now? Do you get it now?

Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted?
Do you forget it now? You never got it
Do you get it now?

Have you forgotten
Do you get it now?
Forgotten, yeah, yeah, yeah
Forgotten, yeah, yeah, yeah
Forgotten, yeah, yeah, yeah
Forgotten, yeah, yeah, yeah



get over him (read all 59 entries…)
Hmm...

I didn’t mean to post that song by Ellie twice!



identify 100 things that make me happy (besides money)
100 things

I did this several years ago. Since then some things changed/some stayed the same, but it was interesting to do.



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