Onotse

i always use the excuse that i have to many clothes as a reason not to wash my clothes as often or i do laundry when i run out of underwear. i want to start doing laundry religiously every 2 weeks as a way to get some structure into my very chaotic life. Lets see how this works out.

i am not sure my lack of vulnerability comes from but i have noticed that though i am pretty good at reading ppl most ppl have a hard time reading me or the reading they get is the total opposite of the one i want them to have. i dont know how to change it but i am aware of it so i guess thats a start. i am not sure if what i want is to be more vulnerable or that the me i am presenting to someone is the me that they are seeing. i think too much.

though the profession i ultimately end up in will not involve public speaking, i would like an opportunity to speak in public. i took an anthroplogy class one year and at the end of the year we had to present a research project to the class. initially i was very very nervous but when i got up there i wasnt so much anymore. i spoke easily and freely and the feedback i got from ppl in my class was much better than i anticipated. because of that experience i was able to put that fear to rest and realize that it is something that i might actually be good at.