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Jarod Kintz

Recent Activity | Year in Review

I'm doing 43 things

I've done 4 things

Jarod Kintz's Life List

1.

I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I’d love nothing more than to drink it.
1 entry . 58 cheers

6 people

2. I want to wield a sword at a Yield sign and shout “Never!”
71 cheers 3 people
3. I want to go to all the topless bars in America and try to sell every single one of them a roof.
23 cheers 3 people
4. I want to be a creature that’s half bee, half the letter B. That way I can pollinate the world with my literacy.
44 cheers 7 people

5.

I want to tell every loser, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. But if you do, you can always make scrambled eggs out of your failures.”
1 entry . 43 cheers

2 people

6. I want to never stop growing as a person. I’d love to be well over 8 feet tall.
32 cheers 3 people

7.

I want to possess enough courage to fill a Campbell’s soup can. And then I want to use my courage to feed the homeless. Isn’t courage not only filling, but delicious?
22 cheers

5 people

8.

I want to make my own luck in this world with a recipe handed down from my great-great-great grandfather, who was Irish on his great-great-great grandfather‘s side. Here is his recipe of luck:
1 entry . 12 cheers

3 people

11.

I want to change my unlisted phone number to the first seven digits in the Fibonacci sequence, or (904) 011.2358. You won’t be able to find me in the phone book, but I’ll be all throughout nature.
21 cheers

1 person

12. I want to visit Mount Fallacy and go sledding on a slippery slope.
12 cheers 2 people

13.

I want to be a farmer and do farmer things like till the soil, grow food for my family, and be able to milk The Mythical Mr. Boo for all he’s worth (rumored to be half a dozen pots of gold stolen from various leprechaun pirates).
5 cheers

1 person

17.

It’s not enough to want it more than anybody else. You have to want it in such a way that makes your brain subconsciously say, “I want this like I need food, shelter, sex, self-actualization, or Maslow’s mustache.”
9 cheers

1 person

18.

I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship.
1 entry . 25 cheers

1 person

Recent entries

I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I’d love nothing more than to drink it.

I am Orafoura, who is The Mythical Mr. Boo, who is Mr. Fizzlebush, who is Mr. Polko, who is Dendrite McDowell, who is jarodkintz.com

But what’s this really mean? It means that Orafoura is the crisis before the awakening. He is the anarchist. He is the architect.

Aug 21, 2009, 06:05AM PDT | 0 comments

post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :)

Musical Time Travel

If you could time travel through a trumpet, would you find the future too loud?

Nov 19, 2008, 05:46PM PST | 7 cheers | 49 comments

I want to mail you a birthday card, even if it's not your birthday

I have made great birthday cards, and I would love to mail one to you, yes you. If you want one, don’t post your address as a comment here. Rather, send it in a private message so your address doesn’t show up on Google. Privacy is the first concern. Fun is the second. These are great cards, and I think it would be great fun. I have hundreds, and they’d be 100% free to you, so please, don’t feel shy. I really would love to get them out in the mail. It would be my pleasure.

This is basically what the card looks like:

Nov 19, 2008, 11:41AM PST | 5 cheers | 16 comments

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About me

Member since:	Oct 12, 2008
Birthday:	March 5
Website:	http://www.jarodkintz.com
About me:	“Some things you need to know about me: I like to spoon after I fork. If empty promises tasted like jambalaya, I’d promise you New Orleans and then have an empty box the size of Louisiana delivered to you. And I’d make you pay for shipping. The future always makes me laugh, because that’s where all the punch lines lie. I believe the future holds something different for all of us. Sometimes it holds our hands. Other times it holds our breath for eternity. I like using big words. Words like huge, gigantic, massive. Rather than waste a whole day, I would rather spend it counting to 86,400. The son of a chemist, I was the first test-tube baby to be born in a beaker. I entered this world, not as a blank canvas, but rather a walking Rorschach test. As I grew older and wiser, people began noticing that what they saw in me, they really saw in themselves. Not only do I hold up a mirror to people, but I also brush their hair. I was raised in a small fishing village. Mostly they caught minnows. I often wonder why my name couldn’t be Jared Kintz, instead of Jarod Kintz. I mean, I was destined to be grammatically incorrect from birth. Most people aren’t fortunate enough to be born on a national holiday, unless of course they go on to greatness and that day eventually gets named after them. But they usually miss out on the day of celebration, as they are most likely dead by the time their birthday is named a holiday. That’s why I am going at it a little bit differently. From here on out, I’m calling in sick to work every March 5th. And on that day, Jarod Kintz Day, I’m going to march in a one-man parade up and down Beach Boulevard in honor of a man who gave his life so that I might live. I’ve been great to myself. Be great to yourself this year and really enjoy your birthday. Remember: birthdays only happen once a year, twice at the most.”

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