Morning Song

is changing her life one thought at a time

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be relentlessly optimistic (read all 16 entries…)
just laugh

Do I really need a reason to laugh? Can I just change my perspective to see the funny side of life? I recall little kids can do that. They find things funny and giggle when adults cannot. Can I be a little kid again?

be relentlessly optimistic (read all 16 entries…)
I want to laugh more

It’s hard. When I am truly happy, a lot of unhappy people will lash out at me and attack me. They are much happier when I seem to be unhappy. I almost had to act depressed to maintain peace.

work for google (read all 2 entries…)
work for any geek friendly employer

I’d like to work for any geek friendly employer, including google.

Have more computer geek friends (read all 5 entries…)
Getting to know other geeks

It’s funny. I realized that I’ve worked with computer geeks all my life, yet I have not even one computer geek friend. We all just bury ourselves in front of the computer and don’t really talk to one another about personal lives. When we have questions, we just go online to post and answer computer related questions. I can be in a room full of computer geeks all my life and still end up not having a geek friend :)

stay away from mean people (read all 5 entries…)

Part of staying away from mean people is about learning to set boundaries. It takes discipline. I’m going to give it a try. It will be worth it, I know.

express my feelings freely (read all 10 entries…)
Listening to the heart

I took a moment to be quiet, to listen to my heart.

Head: Heart, how do you feel? What do you want?

Heart: I feel calm, at peace. I want order. There’s too much chaos in your life right now. You have too much clutter. I’d like to see them go. They belong to the old you. It’s time to shed the old skin to let the new person truly grow.

do what makes me happy (read all 9 entries…)
Making plans to move

I’ve lived in my current apartment for eight years now. A lot of have changed in the neighborhood since 1999. Many shops, restaurants, bars, new homes have been built around it. While it’s good for a lot of people who enjoy a night life, it’s very draining for me who needs quietness and clean air.

So, I decided to move. I went further out into the suburbs to look at some open houses last weekend, will try again this week, and maybe call my bank to see if I can pre-qualify for a mortgage.

live life to the fullest (read all 6 entries…)
todo for today

I’ve got to feel good and be in good health first to live a full life. So, I’m going to work out today after work. My heart, liver, kidney, brain will all thank me for that.

Buy my first home (read all 6 entries…)
went to open house yesterday

I went to some open houses yesterday and found out that there are still some condos that are affordable to me in the area. I’m very glad that I took the step.

communicate better (read all 3 entries…)
Start to learn

I’m a quiet person. I don’t say much. It tends to cause misunderstanding because people often guess what I am thinking when I don’t speak up. I need to speak up more about what’s on my mind to let others know me better so they don’t have to dream up fictional stories.

do what makes me happy (read all 9 entries…)
Make a decision to be happy

I’ve been wrestling with low quality sleep and low energy for a while, got really tired of it. I started praying this morning, “God, how can I get better quality sleep and more energy?” Then as I working on the chores, something came to mind “You wanna to have better sleep? Be happy! Be ridiculously happy! Don’t ask for reasons. Just do it!”

So I started humming a happy song throughout the morning and now I cannot believe it – I’m actually happy. Maybe happiness is a choice.

Buy my first home (read all 6 entries…)
start this weekend

I’m going to see some open houses this weekend. Hope it can be a first step.

live life to the fullest (read all 6 entries…)
learning to live a life

I’ve been spending the first 35 years of life building up things- career, relationships. I’ve always been a worrier, always anxious about the future, about what to do about this and that. Now I realize these worries are thieves. They are stealing my precious life. I want to let them go and reclaim my precious moments. The challenge is – how do I do that when worrying is so ingrained in my brain. Well, I’ve got to start somewhere, maybe just for today, I can try to do something that makes my heart happy.

be with nurturing people (read all 8 entries…)
positive people

Some people are naturally like sunshine. Their presence brighten up others. I want to be with positive people more and more, and learn to be like a ray of sunshine just like them.

Wish me luck.

stay away from mean people (read all 5 entries…)
harmful people

I never thought I’d admit this. I always just wanted to think that all people are basically good and all conflicts can be resolved by communication and honesty. Well, not so. Lately I have been encountering some very harmful people. They are most people who are not happy with themselves, who have some kind of prejudices against others, who selfishly focusing their energies on pulling down others who they perceive as potential competitors in some way.

I want to learn to identify these predators early and to protect myself.

express my feelings freely (read all 10 entries…)
still learning

I’m not very good at expressing my feelings. I tend to go with the left brain and just ignore the emotional stuff. Now I recognize I need to express my feelings more because otherwise they will pile up in my chest and give me muscle cramps and anxiety. I’m not sure how to start, just thought writing an entry in group could be a first step.

Love without fear (read all 3 entries…)
new insight

Hmm… Now i think love without fear is possible when i don’t expect anything from those i love.

treat my body, my voice as a precious violin (read all 12 entries…)
Still learning

I’m 35 and still learning how to take better care of myself. For one thing, I need to lose about 30 lbs or so before I’m 40 to reduce the risk for diabetes, heart diseases. I still need to learn to reduce stress, be happy… Well, it should be fun. It’s better than learning how to manage finances.

Sing (read all 15 entries…)
Like to sing, but always have bad luck

I really like to learn to sing, have tried to take voice lessons twice now. Both of them ended up being aweful. Somehow the teachers didn’t like me. They never said why. They just snap at me, were really impatient. One teacher insisted that I could not read music when in fact I played violin and I had told her that. I kept trying to tell her that I read music, but need to learn sight singing, but she would not listen to what I said at all. I left her class after the second session.

Somehow I still want to learn to sing, even if I have to do it without a teacher. I picked up a copy of Kodaly’s exercises in sight singing and practice about 20 minutes every day.

Love without fear (read all 3 entries…)
this got me thinking

i’d like to love without fear, but is this really possible with human beings? i mean all humans have faults. they are all dishonest, selfish, sinful at some point. sometimes it seems like computers are easier to love than humans.

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