Yesterday I drove to the university to try and get my head around my course. Basically,, I’m expected to teach two subjects next year; English and CSPE,, but I have no experience in the latter and won’t even become registered in it so there’s no real point or gain other than everybody else has to do it. So, i wanted to find out why. WHY? Why am i expected to teach a subject i have no experience in?
I dressed up in my suit and rattled on a glass door to a glass office where some man in his 30s was standing over some boxes and an old lady was messing on the phone. I stood there for well over a minute before the man said something retarded to the old lady that highlighted the fact that he was only a monkey and of no real help to me. So, i turned my attention to the old woman instead.
She was useless. Utterly useless. As soon as i started talking to her it was like a big game,, as if she were trying to hide the fact that she couldn’t possibly answer my questions and make me come across all tarded. It was a joke. SHE was a joke. I mean,, these people are there to accomodate students and they don’t know what they’re involved in. I finally asked her “WHY?” and she smiled “I don’t know”.. then she continued to be a smart arse about it all…
What a fucker.
She started yapping on about how there will be an assessment in both and then some student teachers came in all rowdy and one of them interuptted us with a quick smart arse break down on the assessments. THe old woman saw this as the perfect opportunity to run away.
Seriously, what a fucker.
Now,, had this been me in the past I don’t know what i would’ve done. Maybe I would have EXPLODED on her,, like “WHAT THE FUCK !!!”.. i mean… she showed ZERO interest in trying to help me,, but not only that she was discouraging me to find out the answer to what i consider a huge hole in the system and a situation that could harm both the school i am teaching at, the students and even myself ! But she didn’t care. As long as students follow the typical procedures everything is going as planned. WRONG !! You have to make way for changes in circumstance.
You have to ACCOMODATE for CHANGE !!
Now… I wanted to say all this,, but i wasn’t going to explode on her and i knew i’d get no where with her so i left. It was disappointing walking back to my car and then driving home. I was diappointed. But I didn’t let it get to me. I didn’t feel sorry for myself Or blame people for my situation.. i just picked myself up again and dusted off the bullshit of my encounter.
“My point is I’m pursuing something and nobody looks too happy about it. Maybe they’re looking out for their own interests just a little bit more. I mean maybe they’re doing their job but why they gotta stop me from doing mine? Cause if I was willing to go through all the battling I went through to get where I am, who’s got the right to stop me? I mean maybe some of you guys got something you never finished, something you really want to do, something you never said to someone, something… and you’re told no, even after you paid your dues? Who’s got the right to tell you that, who? Nobody! It’s your right to listen to your gut, it ain’t nobody’s right to say no after you earned the right to be where you want to be and do what you want to do!... You know, the older I get the more things I gotta leave behind, that’s life. The only thing I’m asking you guys to leave on the table… is what’s right.”
Life hits hard but it’s about how hard you can get hit and I’m not staying down for nobody…. Just gonna keep moving forward because that’s how winning is done
