Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

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PassThisOn

being sad is when I feel most alive



I'm doing 7 things
 
Recent entries
Beat my depression (read all 4 entries…)
Music

is pretty much my only friend. I realized that in the last 2 years, on top of the usual loneliness that comes from having no friends, even my relationship with music was deteriorating. I use to write and record songs all the time, sing and play instruments… but I don’t do that anymore. Music was this little imaginary world of my own where I could get lost and fill the emptiness for a while. Everything is dead and blank in my life, but music made things appear alive and lit up with bright lights and flashing neon colors in my head, for a while. Things don’t feel quite right. Maybe the next step in my recovery is reconnecting with music – get back to the same level I was before… which consist of basically listening to music A LOT and force myself to pick up my guitar and sing. If I can’t have a life/friends, then I might as well have music, at least.



Beat my depression (read all 4 entries…)
well, well

So this goal is still sitting on my list… I figure I’ll probably never erase it completely either… simply because I think some of its origins are part of who I am. I believe my state of mind goes beyond depression. I’m fundamentally fucked. I have not just become depressed after a tragic event or awful circumstances in my life. I grew up in a negative atmosphere that fed me a distorted take on life from a very young age… Children have a basic need for love and reassurance which is usually fulfilled in order to make them confident independent adults. I had none of that. I grew up alone and afraid and never shown otherwise. I learnt that no one could be trusted, not to let anything show, not to let anyone in. I am a child in an adult’s body. I don’t know how to love or be loved. I don’t know how to handle people. I don’t know how to get close to anyone. These things are inbuilt in me. Overcoming the overwhelming loneliness that has filled my whole life is not just about re-gaining control of my life. It’s about challenging my whole world which does not happen easily. Over the years it has improved, sure, and it will carry on improving… but I think becoming ‘normal’ would mean being someone else entirely and as this is impossible, I have to live with the fact that there are these glitches in brain making a little socially awkward naturally… and no matter how much I try to change, these things might never go away completely…and I guess that’s OK.



Beat my depression (read all 4 entries…)
Cycles

Do you find that your depression follows a cycle?

For a few years I feel like I’ve been stuck in a loop. It stems from losing someone that meant a lot to me and watching him rebuild his life without ever being able to tell him how I felt about him. I have difficulty living my life and know that he is just a “trigger”...

The cycle goes a bit like this. I start feeling dissatisfied with my life -> I think about him and how he lives his life -> I want what he has and think I can have that too -> I am on a high for a while -> I’m struck with fear and don’t know where to start -> I feel sad and pathetic -> I feel increasingly lonely, like I’ve wasted my life so far and terrified of wasting the rest of it -> I feel like there’s no escape -> I think of “him” and how I miss him, but can’t reach out to him -> I become very agitated and angry at myself and feel that I’m going to explode -> period of serious depression/feeling suicidal lasting from a few days to a few weeks -> I push it all back in a dark corner of my mind and think “that’s enough I have to live my life” -> I try to keep myself busy with as many things as possible to feel like I have a life -> I feel fine for a while sometimes even on top of the world like nothing can stop me.

And then it restarts. Sometimes the cycle takes months, sometimes I go through the loop in the space of a day… I’m tired. ffs, I just want to be happy.



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