Pearlpin

I dont know why I have set this as my goal seeing as I already have two really tight friends who are amazing. A few years ago my closest friend died which was heartbreaking as I had never reached such closeness with anybody else, I know people idealise the dead but honestly even when she was alive i knew our friendship was beyond amazing, it was so intense and so exciting to be her friend. Now I am close friends with another friend of the girl who died, she is wonderful and I adore her but we are on such different levels sometimes and my other friend well he is soo loyal and sweet to me but I feel as though no one will ever be able to relate to me the way my old friend did. We understood eachother so much, when I was with her I didn’t need anybody else we would talk for hours on end about everything and anything. She was just one of those incredibly funny and interesting people. I wonder to myself if I will ever make friends with someone like her again. Sometimes I have dreams where she is not dead and we meet together and I tell her about everything in my life and she listens and tells me what she thinks, those dreams are pretty comforting but I’d prefer to find a friend who could make me feel the way she did.

I have been writing journals since I was twelve and its become a habit, something I have to do. I have finished two whole books of writing. What I love about keeping a journal is that it is one of the best ways to relive old memories and remember exactly what you were thinking at the time something happened. I love to read my old journals and reflect about how my life was different. There is a great beauty of keeping a journal. I value my journals as some of my most precious possessions. I really recommend keeping one! I don’t write in mine every day or even every week. I prefer to just write when I have something of importance to say or something interesting in my life has happened. Filling pages writing about blank and dull days is boring it is much more satisfactory to write when your life is interesting.

I live in the UK london to be specific and I can tell you all now that this place is not worth living in. Its over populated and crowded, the government is awful, there is soooo much crime and drugs and to top it off we get the shittest weather on earth so I am out of here asap!!