Moose

towards this goal this year:

• Got my teeth fixed – no more feeling self-conscious about my smile!
• Got my ears pierced
• Grew my hair really long and took care of it better
• Did quite a lot of exercise and was pretty consistent about it – I think I have better tone in some areas than I did last year.

Sadly, the weight-loss that would have made the most difference for this goal has eluded me for the whole year BUT I am still trying and ever-hopeful for change, whether by sheer force of will or by therapy.

T is getting married exactly 34 weeks today, and I adamantly do NOT want to be the Fat Bridesmaid, especially given that I’ll be singing in front of everyone! I know that’s probably not enough time to get to goal-weight, but it’s definitely long enough to get below the lowest weight I was before and quite a bit further, and to get fitter and maybe look lighter than I am. So it’s all to play for and I have a ton of motivation!

OK so I have been to the gym every day for 2 weeks, and I’m really enjoying it – I love being there and how I feel afterwards and I like planning and preparing for it. It really is starting to feel like a hobby.

And in these two weeks something has clicked about what my physical aim is now. I don’t think my actual level of fitness is that bad, I’m active every day and I’m no wimp. If I was this fit and a healthy weight I think I would be able to do all sorts of physical things well and enjoy them. But sadly it doesn’t work and I guess the whole point is to be fit enough and strong enough to carry myself and do all the things I want to do. While I very much hope that on my road there I will lose weight in the process, my aim is to be fit whatever my weight or body size. What that means to me is that I would be able to run/swim/cycle/MOVE in general faster and further than someone who was normal size and high fitness who had to carry the equivalent of my excess weight. I want to be able to walk up stairs and hills without getting puffed out. I want to be able to run for buses without breaking a sweat. I want to be the strongest and fittest person I – or anyone else – knows of my size, until I hit the normal weight range where all the fit people are.

It’s going to be a long process but this routine is a big change for my body and the benefits will be massive. I think I will try and explain this when I next meet with the trainer and see what they can set me up with.

Only very slightly hungover after a rather wonderful night at Leopard’s! And I got home injury-free!

• GYM – intervals + 1K swim, had to get out of an otherwise empty pool to go
• Wedding dress shopping as part of bridesmaid duties – dress has been decided on and we had a good laugh so that was all worthwhile!
• Shopping – moisturiser, bras, goggles, swimsuit (after trying 6 on in the shop which I think has to be a record!)

• order shopping for tomorrow
• update Progress Journal
• laundry & sort gymkit
• update/charge ipod

• sit and update 43T/journal for a while and watch the rain falling outside the window
• start work on the song arrangement for T’s wedding