PsychoEmperor

I’ll never be able to do this now…

It’s been so hard for the past month or so.. I lose my fiance… my big bro is in prison, my brother Angel is always depressed because of his new baby mother and him constantly fighting, My poor Mom is going crazy having to raise my poor nephew by herself, my dad is stressing over money…. It’s so hard…

Two or three months ago… I was so happy, Everything was great… I had a perfect lady who i was engaged too, my oldest brother was doing so Good and working hard to better himself, my other brother Angel was so happy looking forward to his new daughter, Joseph was always here with me or the fiance, or my father and always happy which made my mom happy, and my dad was ok with everyone helping…

It sucks… and it hurts so much to see everyone this way… and it hurts so much that I can’t do anything about it…

I want to so badly Be back with my faince, and for my brother to be out of prison, and for my other borther to be happy, and my mother and father …. and I can’t…. I can’t do anything….

It hurts so bad…I’m so used to be being postive …. and I am still… no one in real life knows any of this… They all see me as my typical overly confidance cocky ass self… but they don’t know… and I won’t tell them… because I have to be strong…

But I’m tired of being strong for everyone, and always be the “shoulder to lean on”...

I want a shoulder to lean on now…. I want someone to go to… I want someone that I can talk to so that at 2:46 in the freakon morning on i’m not online crying writing on this freakon 43 things crap…

I just want to be happy again…

Seriously… I used to have a banging body, I feel like ever since the fiance started living with me, I’ve just been slacking off… I want to look beter for her…