Quintets

I took a year off work on parental leave and took care of our second child. My wife was a stay-at-home-mum. We swapped roles and she went to work. I watched the two girls at home as well as be chef, nutritionist, cleaner, diaper expert, clothing consultant, hair braider, taxi service, accountant, network guru and many other other things my wife would do at home. I’m exhausted and it has it’s moments, but it’s been AMAZING!! Kinda like Outward Bound, but at home. No regrets. No, not one. It all ends in November ‘06, and I’m going to be miss it all.

The complex part is that I have children and thus he has grandchildren. Personally, I could live without my father for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t notice a loss. But my kids would not have a grandfather. I don’t want to let my lack of relationship be the reason they don’t have a relationship with their grandad. I don’t want have to answer the question, “Dad, why didn’t you let us meet and spend time with grandad when he was alive?”

This is hard. It’s hard because I’m torn thinking that if I forgive him then I’m letting him get away with what he did. If that were true, then there would be no justice. He’s said things to my mother, my sister and my wife that are unforgivable and he think’s he’s in the right. He’s neglected me my whole life and raised me with the philosophy that the onus is on the child to ask for what he needs. What do you do when your father does things that doesn’t even qualify him to be considered a casual acquaintance, much less a father?