Jack Bauer

I am Jack Bauer. I will own you all. Years of kicking ass in the name of CTU and the American people leave me totally capable of world domination. Not only can I go 24 hours without taking a dump, eating, or consuming any liquids, but I can store a mass amount of technology inside my brain. I know 100,000,000 times more than you, and I can kill you with ease.

The world will be mine! You will all worship me! I AM JACK BAUER! EAT MY GUN!