Raiveran

wonders what the light is.



I'm doing 19 things
 

How I did it
How to overcome my social fear and dislike of people
It took me
2147483647 days
It made me
WTF EMOTICONS


How to get a good laptop to replace my ancient computer
It took me
45 days
It made me


How to be more honest about how I feel
It took me
1000 days
It made me
Fuck emoticons.


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Recent entries
learn to enjoy casual sex
Untitled

The problem with not dating or having intimate relations i high school is that you make all the rookie mistake when you’re older and the situations hold more import, gravity and involvement. Teenage relationships are necessarily short-lived, but the same can’t be said the older you get. Since I never really learned to have casual sex, the act is tied up in my brain with love and committed relationship. This actually limits me, putting too much importance on the act itself and tying it too strongly to other aspects of a relationship.

I began addressing this last year. Let me be clear: this is not usually something my personality can do. I can’t easily fathom one-night stands or people who hop from partner to partner. I have no real interest in doing either of those, but I would like to be adult about any situation where there is an intimacy element but which isn’t based on commitment. I found a safe environment and tried that. It has its pros, but the whole setup really didn’t seem for me.

An unexpected contact has turned into a resource for this goal, and I’m paying attention to everything that’s happening, and how we interact. My partner has issues with not wanting commitment, so I’m listening so I can incorporate his requirements into our arrangement, keeping in mind his feelings. It’s quite interesting, and I have to say I’m having fun finding a way to keep things light and enjoy the experience. I hope I can put him more at ease as time goes by.



watch one new film and one new "good" film each month (read all 2 entries…)
New: Princess and the Frog

Well… yeah. Disney fare, all right, but either it’s missing some major elements or their magic just doesn’t work on me anymore.



learn I have to take care of myself (read all 7 entries…)
Untitled

I changed this from “learn to take care of myself” to “learn I have to take care of myself”. That is far more important and the essential step before anything else I do now.



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I want to:
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