RayneStrife

well now im shooting for september and looking around for all my options and get my finances and my home stable and i guess keep my job going for someone one else to eventually take it over without the chaos….

Lessons & tips: “look for the moment that you actually have beaten it. try to use the power of that defining moment to keep it beaten. dont slip remember that it really is your life at stake.”

this was from another fellow who had this as a goal. most of the time we try a few times and fail once or twice or three times. i have quit three times before for small portions of time..the longest was 6 months. and stress was the biggie. its what made me fold because i was so stressed i used it as a vice…i regret the day trust me.

i am hassled by the people in my life constantly and i get angry when they bring it up. some of them are ex smokers some arnt. but the ex smokers i know to be truthful, they were once smokers that had to fight to stay clear of smoking. the non smokers thing its as easy as just”stopping”...we its not..we at least not for me. but my want is there. trust me…

so here is the beggining for me. the “Want” to quit. im tired of feeling crappy in the morning after smoking or when i have smoked too many as i am thinking or writing away or feeding a preformance idea. thats when i notice the increase and the shitty feeling the most. The urge is overcome when im stressed or money issues are getting me down or i feel like a failure because im almost 30 and i cant have money left over after being payed again. my money goes part and partial to smoking…

im tired of being hassled
im tired of being glared at by old people
im tired of being kicked out of bustop areas for smoking
tired tired TIRED…..

this morning was the kicker. i woke up and i started my morning smoke and hacked my guts out.i felt like i was going to puke. The cats were even concerned, they all circled around me with concern..when the cats do that..time to end it…i got enough habits….preforming,cinnimon buns,shoes,hats,videogames,war books. those one have things to show for…like tattoo…there forever..

so im going to give myself a month to begin the prossess..
1.write a list of why i shouldnt smoke
2.how i can quit
3.the triggers to smoke
4.the money i could save
5.ask people i know who quit how they did it and see what is applicable for me
6.realise this is really going to put me to the test and work on some ways to ease the craving..(see gain ten pound goal:P)
7.plan my 96 hour hide from the world and prepare my love ones not to fuck with me that weekend.. its theyre funeral
8.check out gums,patches,ziban,champx etc..
9.brace myself for somthing i know is going to be tough
but worth it
i know this isnt impossible. so im going to do the work

So i have been eating more and more but got to eat more things that are good for you and help put on healthy wieght. in my operations i am finding with my partner and theyre consistany i am eating more regularly with is helping me keep a healthy feeling. but im going to moms tonight and breaking out her kinesiology books and look at what i can do to slow down my metabolism(i know quiting smoking is one of them) so im going to thumb through the books. plan a quit smoking plan. i know “just quiting” isnt as easy as most think. you are hooked you have to break the habits and find ways to get around the cravings. eating instead of smoking…

so ill set myself a two week plan. in this two weeks i will do a good search for the good actions to take to quit smoking and regulate my eating habits.

so i will…
1.look into a good regiment of eating
2.look at my smoking habit
3.plan activities to gain good muscle and form for my body
4. read through other testimonials to see how they did it.
5.keep it up

so monday the fifth of october. i will report back