it means too much. and i have hope.
i got him from my friend who found and saved him but couldn’t keep him. hes a cute little 3 month old german shepard/chow mix. yeah, hes going to be GIANT, but i love him so much.
ultimate frisbee is quite possibly the most fun i’ve ever had. it makes me feel like a kid again. it just feels great when your biggest worry is having your sweaty guy friend fall on you with his shirtless body…and thats not even terribly bad. haha.
it was definately my first time ever drinking, and i got so faded. just me and my best friend were drinking, but a couple other friends were there.
i was drunk dialing all night and i was telling one of my other best friends that i wanted to kiss her on the mouth “not because i liked her, but because i think she had a good mouth for kissing” (yeah, i said that to her…she was weirded out to say the least. and i told her that bri [the friend i was drinking with] didn’t want to kiss me on the mouth and she was like “yeah i do. i’ll do it right now” so she kissed me and then we wanted to document it, so we kissed again and took a picture [i might post that later].
we then ended up making out several times throughout the night and it was pretty awesome. it was hellas awkward hearing about it in the morning from our friend who wasn’t drinking though. she said she couldn’t keep us off of eachother.
yeah. fucking hilarious.
honestly i almost idolize this woman. she is (to me, at least) the epitomy of a beautiful woman. and shes so goddamn talented. i missed their show last year on a count of a lame school thing, but i will see the yeah yeah yeah’s live and i will meet karen o. yeah. god, i wish i could be more like her. :)
i could totally do it now beacause i could care less about this friendship now. basically she makes me feel shitty all the time. i dont hate her or anything i just feel like she doesnt know me…its a long story but i feel like she thinks she cant trust me and i havent given her ONE reason not to. i dont know. im just so frustrated with her and everything she does.
mine was basically a confession in postcard form. making it was the best part. afterwards i felt so proud that i had created this little piece of artwork and i actually wanted to keep it to myself because i thought it was so beautiful. it sat on the stack of papers on my desk in my bedroom for at least a month until one night i thought to myself, “everytime i see this damn postcard, i get depressed because it’s still only me that knows. someone else should know…” so i sent it in, properly addressed and properly stamped. i haven’t seen it in any books, and i haven’t seen it on the website, but i’m still glad i did it. i felt relieved.
she actually told me to kiss her. she was playing with my camera and i was laying on her bed, and she layed right in front of me, face to face. our noses were almost touching and she stares directly at me goes “kiss me.” and puckers her lips. it caught me completely off guard and i hesitated and just kind of smiled and went “what?..umh. k.”...she started giggling and basically we didn’t actually kiss, because i’m incredibly awkward, and i don’t know how to seize the moment.
we got a good picture out of it though. :)
we went to a show saturday night and i stayed the night at her house. she was being really affectionate all night and i sort of told her when we were going to sleep. she was laying her head on my chest with her arm around me and goes “i love snuggling” and i just kinda hugged her and said “yeah, me too and i love you.” but judging by her reaction she didn’t take it the way i meant it. oh well. there’s always next time, right?
Brand new canon Powershot A630.
It’s amazing, 8.0 mp and 16x digital zoom. I love it.
This was my first picture.
sufjan stevens was sold out as soon as the tickets went on sale. i didn’t even know so many people liked him.
i missed ani difranco too…school night. [as if that matters]
yeah yeah yeahs…don’t even get me started on how badly i regretted not abandoning the violin in the 9th grade.
tilly and the wall…damn divorced parents and shared custody. damn it all to hell.
action action…same as the latter.
i missed the yeah yeah yeahs last spring >_> ...for a stupid orchestra trip to minneapolis.
but besides that, this has been a good year for me, as far as shows go.
Brand New—damn amazing. I managed to get to the front of the crowd and i touched the guitarists instrument(!) and (totally by accident) his crotch. These guys rock hard. Highly recomend that you see them live.
Panic! at the Disco w/ Jack’s Mannequin—very good. Bloc Party couldn’t play though…something about the drummer and a collapsed lung. Janky.
Motion City Soundtrack w/ All-American Rejects—I can’t wait! It isn’t until december but i’m so damn excited, I hear they kick ass live.
i’d like to say i’m straight, but with being attracted to my best friend and all, i don’t know. i mean, she is the only girl i have ever been/am attracted to so…
i guess i’d just like to know what it feels like, not just with her, but any girl.
i don’t know what is: curiosity or actual attraction, but lately i’ve been thinking about what it would be like to kiss some of my female friends. it’s like, we’re just sitting there with nothing to do, and i’m just kind of like “hmmm…”
i don’t know, i just think it would be interesting experience.
i’d like to think this was a realistic goal…but lately, it just seems completely hopeless to me.
we used to be so close. that is, until she got a boyfriend, then everything went to shit. she’s 16…he’s 20. and i hate it.
before he came along we would spend nearly every day together; we’d hang out after school, she’d pick me up after work, and she’d surprise me on her way home from orchestra rehearsals. it was great. now we haven’t hung out since she started dating him a couple weeks ago.
what i hate is how she acts like nothing is different.
when we are together, she’ll be completely attatched to me the whole time. she’ll sit on my lap, even if there’s an open seat next to me, she’ll hold my hand for no reason, kiss me on the cheek for no reason, and what really gets me was when she tells me “you’re the only friend i kiss, you know.” or “you’re so cute, i love to snuggle with you.” or when i would hug her and she holds on for a little while and say “aw. i like this.”
...i like it too. it just frustrates me because she makes it seems like there could be something there…but there’s not. she has a couple other people she calls ‘best friends’ but she doesn’t act like that toward them.
i’ve had feelings for her for about a year now, and the longer i wait, the harder it is to handle.
i don’t know what i’m more afraid of—letting her know i love her and making it completely awkward between us, or her saying she feels the same way.
i can’t say either outcome would feel particularly amazing, because either way, i wouldn’t know what to do. i’m an incredibly awkward person, and this is just a little overwhelming.