Miserably… :-(
I just read an article on Hello Giggles (http://hellogiggles.com/this-is-what-happy-looks-like) and although some of it didn’t apply to me the overall theme did.
What does your happy look like?
We all (hopefully) know what that looks and feels like. I’ve had it many times and they’ve looked different because of different people, places, circumstances…BUT that feeling has been the same really. Just this inexplicable feeling. I have to be honest, I haven’t felt it true in a while but there are things that I know can get me/have gotten me there. I have friends who I know are stuggling with that, (you know who you are!) and you’re not alone but we all have to make conscious decisions about how to make that happen. I hope I have the courage to do that as well.
At times, I feel like I have a lot of testosterone. I’m not super feminine, I hate to shop, I prefer “roughing it”, I burp…freely, I call everyone DUDE, and I’m super competitive. I love sports and for the most part, try to be very logical about things, well things that can be logical (not like love or feelings, crap like that, there’s not a whole lot of logic in those). Oh well, it’s just what makes me who I am :)
“What came first – the music or the misery? Did I listen to the music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to the music? Do all those records turn you into a melancholy person? People worry about kids playing with guns, and teenagers watching violent videos; we are scared that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands – literally thousands – of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and loss.”
― Nick Hornby, High Fidelity
I feel like I’ve posted this before…too lazy to double check though.
So I planted two small trees out in my yard to get more shade, it’ll be years before it happens BUT but so far they aren’t growing much. One is a Palo Verde that should have yellow flowers and the other is a Mesquite or Jacaranda, I don’t recall. The latter seems to be growing a bit but the Palo Verde may have gotten too cold over the winter season and decided to stop growing. It’s not totally dead but it’s not really growing :(
I remember this song growing up and at the time, about 8 or 10, I really liked it, one of my favorites but had NO clue what it meant at all. It was catchy to me, I liked the music I guess, man and woman singing, who knows. I mean even the video is kinda lame, but I thought it was cool-black and white, shadows, ooooh. But as an adult I still like it a lot and turn up the radio and laugh at my pre-adolescent naive self. Hell, I still don’t know if I get it all ;)
“Take Me Home Tonight”
I feel a hunger, it’s a hunger
That tries to keep a man awake at night
Are you the answer? I shouldn’t wonder
When I can feel you whet my appetite
With all the power you’re releasing
It isn’t safe to walk the city streets alone
Anticipation is running through me
Let’s find the keys and turn this engine on
I can feel you breathe
I can feel your heart beat faster (Faster)
Take me home tonight
I don’t want to let you go ‘til you see the light
Take me home tonight
Listen, honey, just like Ronnie sang
Be my little baby, oh, ho, oh
I get frightened in all this darkness
I get nightmares I hate to sleep alone
I need some company a guardian angel
To keep me warm when the cold winds blow
I can feel you breathe
I can feel your heart beat faster (Faster)
Take me home tonight
I don’t want to let you go ‘til you see the light
Take me home tonight
Listen, honey , just like Ronnie sang
Be my little baby
Be my little baby, uh-huh
Just like Ronnie sang
I said
Just like Ronnie sang
Be my little baby
Baby, my darlin’, uh, uh, oh, oh, oh
I feel a hunger
It’s a hunger
Take me home tonight
I don’t want to let you go ‘til you see the light
Take me home tonight
Listen, honey, just like Ronnie sang
Be my little baby, oh, ho, oh
LYRICS- http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eddiemoney/takemehometonight.html
VIDEO- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbhXmSBlS_U
I’ve actually done this twice in my lifetime and I’m so glad I was able to do so. Your hair has to be at least 6 inches (I think) and not processed in order to participate. Most salons will do this for you if you ask OR you can send it in on your own too. It makes me happy to know that this can help someone suffering from a hair loss disorder or cancer. I’m glad I can give a little back in some way.
Things are moving and shaking faster than I can see these days in my life, my mom’s, my boys and just life around me.
This morning, I was walking around my house, in the quiet stillness of the cool, and for a brief moment…felt calm. I had a quick thought of, So this is what it’s like to slow down, take in a breath that I often take for granted, be pleased with where my life has taken me, etc.
I’m grateful, so very grateful for things that I have, where I could be going in life and so I need to keep my chin up.
So, better from my last post in this area although I need to be more proactive as opposed to reactive in things…even make decisions that I know are right even though it might be tough :/
This song has no deep meaning whatsoever and honestly, I don’t know what it’s about but it puts me in a great mood nonetheless.
I was 17 when this song came out and it was my senior year. I had the best senior year ever. The partying, the friends and fun. It just makes me think of not having a care in the world except my friends and being exceptionally happy.
All around the world statues crumble for me
Who knows how long I’ve Loved You
Every where I go people stop and they see
25 years old, my mother, God rest her soul
{Chorus}
I Just wanna Fly
I waya I waya want, Put your arms around me baby, Put your arms around me baby
I just wanna Fly
I waya I waya trya waya want
Put your arms around me baby
Dance a little stranger
Show me where you live
Love can make you hostage wanna do it again
There’s no time to think, Got to start it all again
We’ll find out I’m told, My mother she told me so
{Chorus}
I Just wanna Fly
I waya I waya want, Put your arms around me baby, Put your arms around me baby
I just wanna Fly
I waya I waya trya waya want
Put your arms around me baby
All around the world statues crumble for me
Who knows how long I’ve Loved You
Everyone I know has been so good to me
25 years old, my mother, God rest her soul
{Chorus}
I Just wanna Fly
I waya I waya want, Put your arms around me baby, Put your arms around me baby
I just wanna Fly
I waya I waya trya waya want
Put your arms around me baby
http://www.lyrics007.com/Sugar%20Ray%20Lyrics/I%20Just%20Wanna%20Fly%20Lyrics.html
Last week I changed over another credit card and I contacted my financial adviser and we changed over my ROTH IRA and mutual fund accounts. Plus, I took my ex husband off it and made my kids the beneficiaries :)
Getting there! I think I have 3 more cards left and my students loan and I think I’m done with the name change. Most of these things just take time which I am short of often (plus I’m piss poor at time management). Maybe another goal…
This posting is a little late but the boys and I had a great day, actually a few great days lately.
Last weekend and this weekend, we rode bikes (I walked), we went to the park, rented some movies, had a little sleepover in the living room, made pancakes and went to the library.
It’s been really good with them lately and I want to be more grateful and proactive with my time with them. I cancelled going to my adult softball game on Friday night and skipped out out a meeting last Saturday morning so we could sleep in and relax. I feel like with as busy as I am, I’m missing their childhood.
over an hour cleaning my sons room and I got to throw away about a box and half worth of crap (he was at his cousin’s house-woo hoo) Typically he cleans it himself but I really needed to get in there and toss stuff.
Also, I added a converter/adapter box for the TV so that I could hook up the DVD and VHS player. We still have a ton of tapes and now my boys can watch some of the classics we haven’t been able to in a while.
I’ve been mentally collecting events and things in my head that I don’t want to do in life but have done or have happened to me in the past year or so. I’m hoping that this “release” will get all the bad out and things will only get better, i.e. when you’re sick and you throw up, you always feel a little bit better, ya know, that effect?
So away we go!
- My dad, grandpa, close family friend and former student, only 12 years old, died. Look, enough dying alright?
- My ex giving me much grief about my boys (he’s asked me to not refer to them as OUR boys, because, well, he’s a douche)
- I rolled my car thus destroying it (we were all safe so that was the best part)
- Having to deal with bills and calls and insurances because of before mentioned accident
- Getting the WORST service (not when I initially got it but the aftermath) and car at a dealership, it’s been a nightmare and I hate it! Never get a vehicle from Camelback Ford in Phx, AZ. They’re liars, cheaters and they care about NO ONE. And this is me being nice.
- My dishwasher, oven, garbage disposal, part of my A/C unit, my computer crashing and radiator in the car breaking and it’s costing me thousands.
-Getting SO drunk last summer at a pool that I swam in my clothes, I remember that part, but then took off my clothes, I don’t remember that part :P
- Getting played by a guy for a few months, ug.
- Having a great time on New Years Eve with my friend dancing, drinking, meeting new people and them BAM, I got punched in the face by a grown man. I bumped into him and his stupid girlfriend while dancing apparently and I suppose I deserved getting close fist punched in the face by a man. I hate Scottsdale.
- Spending 4 hours in the hospital on New Years Day to make sure my face wasn’t broken or to make sure the bleeding in my eye wasn’t that serious. Yay CAT Scans!
So that was my year basically. I know some were under my control but some were not. I’ve decided to be a hermit and enclose myself and children in a bubble. Hmmm, I feel better already… Maybe my next post will be about the good stuff. It’ll be a short post-HA!
I haven’t been super active on here as of late but I’m trying to get back into it because I always feel better afterwards, but I’m lost.
Just a bit mentally, spiritually, everything. I wish time could stand still so it’s hard to be happy when you feel lost inside your own life. The past few months have been some of my worst and I acknowledge that. I try with my coworkers to put on a smile and with my kids too but it’s hard. I just don’t feel like I have a lot of fight in me or will and I’m just lost, I can’t think of another way to describe it.
This start to the new year has been SHIT (for about 90%) and so to say goodbye to the past and hello to my bad-ass self, this hair is getting CHOPPED!
I need this symbolic, cathartic show to the new year. I want to get rid of the dead weight slowing me down. Since I can’t control much these days it seems, I can control this!
The only really good thing was spending a lot of time with someone new. He’s kind of wonderful. I really enjoyed my time with him :)
So I FINALLY started this. I’ve had it since last summer. I’m only on chapter 8 but it’s finally picking up, it’s one of those ones that’s a bit tough to get into and it’s not my normal genre but I’ve heard it’s good, and so far, now at least, I’m enjoying it.
So the boys and a friend of my sons’s went to see visit the Pop Culture Museum up in North Phoenix. It was pretty cool. It was about 99% mint conditioned boxed action figures, a few little collector sets of plates & glasses, some really random ones (who knew they made Rocky Balboa figures- Yo Adrian!). It was only $11 for the four of us and I think I’ll go back because we went through at a speed that I was unable to really geek out.
There’s a store attached with some comics, art, trinkets and crap I don’t need to buy but REALLY wanted too (Sonic Screwdriver anyone?) Thank you to Brian for bringing this place to my attention :)
