SSNepenthe421

My main problem being that I socialize with people who, while in the same age group, are too mentally and emotionally immature for my taste. I’m not too mature myself, but I can better distinguish between the right and wrong time/place to act my age. I don’t blame them, though. I’ve been through more than most people my age so it’s made me wiser than I otherwise would be. Either way, I need to make friends who are more like myself in terms of where they’re at in their life. I need to learn how to be more accommodating.

I know I’m classified as “healthy” or at least “average” for my age, weight, and height, but just coming down from being the heaviest I’ve been in my life, it’s hard to overcome that unhappiness I felt with my physical appearance. I had always been ridiculously thin when I was younger so hitting that point in my life when I was so happy I didn’t care what I ate or the way I looked, and facing a huge emotional and mental challenge allowing me to see what I was doing to myself… It was a huge blow. Something else happened that REALLY made me hit rock bottom in terms of my feelings about the way I looked. I had never been so unhappy about my appearance. Now that the happiness is creeping back into my life and I’ve become a teensy bit more proactive with my physical health, I’m really starting to accept that I look pretty darn good. So maybe I can finally gain back my confidence because OH! How I miss it so!

My entire family, extended and all, are catholic. Lucky for me, my mother really disagreed with a lot of their teachings and beliefs and decided she wouldn’t baptize any of her children but rather allow them to find their own religious light. Loved church as a child but as I grew older, I realized that my belief stemmed more from my fear of damnation than a true, unabashed love and faith in God. Since then, I’ve put aside that part of my life and gone with the “undecided’s” of religion: Agnosticism. I always vowed to research and “sample” each religion, see which fits me best. Unfortunately, I never really went through with it and I’m hoping that when my life finally settles down in the next couple of months, I can finally do what I promised myself I’d do years ago. Maybe I’ll just follow my own religion; an adaptation of religions from across the globe. Who knows…