I'm doing 43 things
For awhile I was successful. I had lost maybe ten or so pounds, and felt great. But then, something happened and all of the sudden I lost myself in the stresses of everyday life. My school work, friend and family drama had suddenly caught up to me. I’m one of those emotional eaters, and I realized that for the first time today. I mean, I guess I always knew, but today it hit me like a brick. Today was one of those days where no matter what I did or no matter what happened, everything just felt wrong. I felt disrupted, as if everything I had ever known had been turned upside down, which can be explained by what happened this weekend, but I won’t bore you with those details.
Anyways, I found myself feeling incapable to do anything, to move or work. I even almost cried during class, which is a rare occasion for me. And then after school I got myself a load of junk food and after the first bite, I felt my stresses releasing. Now, I know that’s bad, obviously it’s not good when you need to do anything unhealthy just to get rid of your pain. But that was when it hit me that I just need to find another way to let out my stresses.
Anyways, I’ve been doing horribly on my diet lately, and I am sick of this, stressful eating. It’s one of those two way deals. I overeat because I’m stressed out, and I’m stressed out because I overeat. I overeat because I’m inconfident, and I’m inconfident because I overeat, etc.
Well anyways, I just want to get back into the groove of dieting. I just want to feel okay again. I never felt as good as I did when I lost that weight. I never thought I was capable, but now I know I am. I just need to stop being so uptight and relax, and for once take this diet seriously!
Sorry for my vent, but I haven’t written anything in awhile and I felt a serious need to.
