Where is it that boundaries lie, separating innocence from corruption, good, from evil, or normal from odd?
When does an innocent crush become an unhealthy fixation, or is perceived as such?
What makes an expressive profession of love different from one person’s lips as compared to another’s?
When is it deemed appropriate, if at all, to profess what one has held imprisoned in one’s thoughts?
Always it has been the wrong time for me, or perhaps, it’s the right time, but I’m the wrong person.
Were I a different person, I would not struggle with letting those I care deeply about, or admire, know without fearing an adverse reaction.
Or, perhaps, some thoughts are never meant to be spoken, never meant to be revealed, only meant to reside within the mental prison, casting one as both warden and prisoner.
These thoughts are seen as sweet, and quaintly honest by others, but when revealed to the object of fixation produce a negative reaction, and one is now seen as a creep.
My greatest fear is one that has come to fruition several times, and thus, I become a timid mouse, afraid to say what my heart thinks, afraid of destroying more friendships, afraid of one more set of eyes to avoid.
Feb 24, 2008, 02:02PM PST | 0 comments
In all my 20 years of life, I’ve only been in one relationship, and that lasted only a couple of weeks, since it was a long distance thing. Something I noticed was that she kept saying I was innocent, and other girls I’d been close to had said the same thing about me. I don’t know why to them being a virgin constitutes innocence, but I’d like to destroy this “innocence”. The reason this relationship ended was because of it (she was much much more experienced, but I didn’t mind), and it had been the reason other girls had turned me down.
I’ve decided that If I have not lost my virginity before I turn 21, or am not in a relationship(that’ll be the day), I’m going to pay for it. Now, If I am in a relationship. and it does not lead to marriage or is not consummated before it ends, then after I’m out of it I’ll pay for it.
So in all likelyhood, I’m gonna need to save up some money. What’s the average price for this kind of thing?
Jan 06, 2008, 10:35AM PST | 2 comments
I did it, for a while, and had no problem gong back and forth between it and qwerty, since I used my laptop at school (qwerty) and my desktop at home. then my keyboard broke, and I got a new one, but I’m too lazy to pop the keys off and rearrange them. I want to buy a hardwired dvorak keyboard.
Dec 29, 2007, 09:09AM PST | 0 comments
I'm doing 43 things
