Dear 43 Things Users,

10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

It has been a long ride (one of our original goals was to "build a company that lasts at least 2 years” - we beat that one!) While we wish the site could live on, it has suffered from a number of challenges - changes in how people use the site, the advertising industry, and how search engines view the site. We wish the outcome was different – but we’ve always been realistic about when our goals are met and when they aren't.

As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

- The Robots.

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Saifyre

is getting her read on



Entries
make a difference (read all 2 entries…)
You weren’t hugged enough as a child were you?

Lets face it… this can be a horrible time of year for some people.

We are so busy maxing out credit cards, wiggling out of awkward social disasters, driving like complete asshats and getting gut punched by some blue haired old lady over the last pashmina shawl available in Nordstroms Rack (not something I care to repeate btw) that we forget about the “reason for the season”.

Pagan, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist… whatever you are or what ever you align with this time of year is about hope, peace, love and all things groovy.

I complain about people being all out unforgivable, un-excusable, rancid rat bastards this time of year since I was twelve, but this year on Christmas Eve I am going to do something about it…

<embed src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/vr3x_RRJdd4&hl=en&fs=1” type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true” width=”425” height=”344”>
care to join me?



post whatever is on my mind
Should I?

so i’ve always lived out loud. But then this thing happened with my fiancée and we broke up and suddenly I am afraid of everything I write.

My writing wasn’t the problem
the fact that he was unmotivated, blamed others, and cheated on me was the problem

But I am still afraid to make him look like a bad guy
because that would make me look like a bitch
which hasn’t bothered me in the past
but for some reason does now
maybe because if I admit that I stayed with him for so long I would really look like an idiot…

Writing blogs and posting has always been catharsis for me but I find myself biting my tongue errr pen… errr keyboard and it is annoying the ever loving fuck out of me

so should I just continue with my wild uncensored verbal diarrhea or should I not

who am I kidding
my ovaries are way to big to be contained like this for long



make a difference (read all 2 entries…)
You don't even know it do you?

We touch people everday
with the things we do and the things we say…

At least I think we do. The sad thing about this is that we rarely see the impression, the change, the difference we leave behind. I have in the past few months been thanked out of the blue by people who I have touched. And it felt amazing to know that I had made a difference and it made me conscious of the things that I do.

So right now my thing is returning that feeling to others.

My way of making a difference this month is by making others aware of the wonderful changes they have brought about. There is life altering power not only in the greatest charity that will help hundreds of thousands but also in the smallest kindest simplest cup of tea shared between friends.

You are all amazing!!!



Lose 150 pounds (read all 3 entries…)
The unintentional 29

I was miserable.

I kept trying to lose the weight and I kept failing. I blamed this tumor in my brain and the pcos and everything except for me.

In September I was my heaviest ever at 317 pounds. I hit rock bottom and I was going through a break up with my fiancée of nine years.

In October I moved into my own place.
I started buying my own food
paying attention to myself
I landed a second job as a massage therapist
I was finally happy. I never even looked at a scale and I didn’t until one of my friends looked at me and said that I needed a new bra because the one I had was not supporting me properly.

I went home and tried to adjust it in a mirror but nothing was working at all… because the cup size had changed. I stepped on the scale it read 288.

My clothes size hasn’t changed much. I merely fit into them now which is why I did not notice anything. But my bra size went to a D instead of a DD, My shoe size went from a 10 or 9 1/2 wide to a size 9. I have stopped getting wedgies from my undies and I can wear high heels again.

I let go of a toxic relationship and that letting go translated physically as well.


SW 317
CW 288
GW 140



become a Dominatrix
From the Bottom Up

I always wanted to be a Top. Ever since I was a little girl. It was either a Mother Superior or a Dominatrix. And now finally at the age of 27 I am in the right place at the right time.

And I’ve started in a position that I never ever could imagine myself being in but am so glad that I did. I am learning how to bear the lash so that I may be better at giving it. I am learning to bow in service so I understand what it means to receive it.

And through him I learn to apperciate the awesome physical and emotional responsibility you take when you give pain that is turned into a tormenting pleasure.

There is much to do and learn and feel and experience.
but what I have experienced so far is the tip of the iceberg
what I have felt so far is the beautiful and terrifying freedom of bondage
and what I have learned is the power and strength it takes to school yourself under the lash and behind the blindfold.

The submissive is not with out will the dominate is very much subject to it as well. And I seek to be a model student so that I may in turn be a Magnificent Master



Stop caring what other people think of me
Fear and the Inaccurate ego: Confessions of a Massage Therapist in Training

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear…”

When I was a child I hid my smile behind my hand because of my protruded and widely gapped teeth. I held my head down. I let my hair fall in my face. I didn’t laugh. I would purposely think of horrible, tragic things to keep my lips closed, to keep my “offending” disfigurement locked away. I hoped they would forget, hoped they wouldn’t tease me anymore… hoped today was the day they would let me play with them.
At home, after I had my bath, I would hold my drying towel just over my nose. I would smile widely. I would imagine the mouth I wanted below my nose: thin pink lips with complete with two pristine rows of white bright teeth behind them.

I would smile my perfect smile and they would accept me
But I was wrong

When I was a teenager I used to worry as I danced with someone. As their body pressed against mine, as his or her hands would go to my back, my waist, my hips I would imagine disdain and disgust lurking behind the bedroom eyes, the soft smile. As they tilted their head I imagined them listening to my fears and deciding it was true
A moment that was sweet and sensuous suddenly becomes torment and torture.
After the song had ended or the kiss parted and I was home in the dark, where no one could see me, when I was safe in my bed sweating beneath a pile of covers. I imagined my waist thin enough for her to place her hands around, my hips narrow, my legs longer than an anime school girl’s.

I would walk into a room with those long, long legs and they would accept me
But I was wrong

When I was a young woman I hid my truth behind a thick and tangled matted mess of lies. I rationalized these lies. I told myself that if I did not tell them mom would worry and sister would be disappointed, friends would be overtly concerned. It is better for them not to know the truth. Not to know the secrets.
And as I slept locked in my nightmares and dreams my truth and my lies would wage a bitter battle in a wearisome war. Which I told myself I was wining.

I convinced myself that the weight of those lies was not too much to carry.
But I was wrong and it broke me

Now I am a woman
and as I stand besides the table,
as I place my hands upon the base of his feet
as I lower my voice and drop into a dancers stance,
as I tell him softly: breath… just breath… deeply… all the way into your center.
I can hear the nagging voice in my mind.
If you fail then you are worthless, if you disappoint then your training is pointless. If you mess up then it is because of a serious shortcoming in your compassion a fatal fault in your intuition, a devastating defect in your being…

But I inhale and realize that…
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear… “

I exhale my inaccurate ego.
I inhale my accurate self
I begin
“I” suddenly disappear.
And the best of me remains.

The art of touch has taught me these truths about myself. How I let my fear of being rejected and my inaccurate ego infect everything in my life. And how wonderful life can be when I move past this. How I should not only look upon my client with the eyes of compassion but also myself.

As my intent flows from me in an deep yet effortless effleurage, as I create a space for that persons body to heal itself … I myself am healed and freed.
Free of the fear.
Free of the inaccurate ego.

It is beautiful
It is humbling
It is love
And it spills out to illuminate every aspect of my life, touching everything that I put hand or mind to.

This truth
this way of touching
this way of being the best of me.

“…I will face my fear… I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
-Frank Herbert, Dune



Lose 150 pounds (read all 3 entries…)
30 minutes more

I’m sweating like a pig, everything hurts, I’m tired, it’s late I have 5 more minutes to go but I think I’m gonna call it quits besides I look like an idiot doing this.
Everyone else is too busy with themselves to notice you hun
To notice me huffing and puffing pathetically on this machine
They are panting too
I can’t breathe
It’s an illusion
my chest is closing
It’s an illusion
I can’t breathe
Force it in two sharp inhales
It hurts
One long exhale
My heart is going to explode
Two sharp inhales
I can’t keep this up
past the chest
My throat is dry
into the core
My head hurts
Exhale the pain
I can’t do this
You can
Fuck you I won’t
You fuck yourself if you don’t…In the end it isn’t them. It isn’t even the weight, it isn’t about the health. Its about you. It’s about you rejecting yourself. It’s about you accepting me
You’re deluded
And you’re afraid to admit it
Admit what?
Admit that you want to be me. That you want to feel good. Admit that you are strong enough, worthy enough, wonderful enough
I know all those things I just don’t have to be an arrogant ass about it.
That’s a fantastic line of bullshit. You’re a goddamn goddess and you know it.
Screw you “We come nearest to being great when we are great in humility.” -Rabindranath Tagore said that… Zen Master Li Yuansong stated that enlightenment can come only after humility – the wisdom of realizing one’s own ignorance, insignificance and lowliness, without which one cannot see the truth. So like I said before you’re fucking deluded.

Then consider this your enlightenment sugah

Humility: noun 1. a disposition to be humble; a lack of false prideKeyword being false.

Humility: one of many things that helps keep your proverbial cosmic cup empty and open to receive the transcendental radio waves.

Humility: Negative calorie, zero cosmic cup space when compared to arrogance and pride.

But here’s a news flash honey. Your cup is full to the brim and not with humility. Itsfull with self loathing, contempt, detestation, disgust, dislike, enmity, hatred, repugnance, revulsiondon’t mistake the malice you hold within your self against yourself for modesty“Humility is not only meek but benevolent and forgiving. It seeks to overcome evil with good”.A saint said that. Your self abashment is evil.What you have is not humility it is hate and that is a horrible disservice to yourself,to everyone one who knows you and to anyone who has yet to know you. So like I said before:

It isn’t even the weight, it isn’t about the health

Its about you

It’s about you rejecting yourself

and accepting me

Because I am you

And I am strong enough, worthy enough, wonderful enoughI’m a god damn goddess and I know it.

The funny thing (ah snap funny , wtf funny, funny in a “I did leave the curling iron on, on top of that dry stack of leaves in the garage next to the gas tank way funny)
Is that I do know it
I force in two sharp breaths
I exhale out the pain in my chest, the throb in my head, the ache in my heart
I match my rhythm to that of the music
I lower my head, lean forward
I push with everything I’ve got

I am running in place
As I am moving forward
@ high speed
Ready to collide with myself

I do 30 minutes more

And so can you.

15 pounds or 150, whether it be school, work, play, a mountain to climb an addiction to overcome, a fear to face, and belief to displace…. You are strong enough, worthy enough, wonderful enough. To give up, to believe that you are less is a disservice to yourself, to everyone one who knows you and to anyone who has yet to know you. Shine brightly and fuck the rest… just do 30 minutes, 30 seconds, 30 steps more.



Lose 150 pounds (read all 3 entries…)
But you'll always be a little bit heavy

“But you’ll always be a little bit heavy” She said brushing the crumbs from her big mac off of her sweater. “Besides who cares what you look like.. you already got a man who wants to marry you.”

“I care” I say trying not to stare directly into the beckoning depths of meat, cheese, meat and pickles. I take a swig of aquafina and chant thou shalt not lust, thou shalt not lust over and over to myself

“No you care that other people care.”
I was quiet because it was partially true.

“Well I don’t feel like a woman any more… My period has been missing for seven years,sure it made a brief come back but it lasted as long as that guy from new kids from the block. I shave more often than Terick, I have forgotten where my waist is, i’m to embarrassed to guess, my shoes don’t quite fit, I have hypertension and I’m pre-diabetic and my clothes cost 5 to 10 dollars more because of the extra fabric.”

“Menstruation is messy… I wish mine would go away. Anything else.” She says polishing off the burger… I wanted to lick the paper.

“Yes this goddamn under wire bra is killing me because it is too small but I can not afford to order my size off line… and I’m uncomfortable on long flights”

“If you loose weight your tits will shrivel”

She had me… she knows I love my breasts I even gave them names. I looked down my bra and imagined them giving me precious moments eyes… don’t abandon us they whimpered in unison.

“Gah!!!!” I say hungrily inhaling the fumes of charbroiled mystery meat “You don’t understand.”

“I understand you’re flipping the hell out… maybe you should eat something”

“I don’t want anything from here” I say taking a prolonged glance at the value menu

“Yes you do”
damn she was right about that too.

“Lets get out of here”

“K” She shrugs “You know you should love yourself… forget what everyone else says you are fine just the way you are. Besides You’ll always be a little bit heavy” She says as she retrieved whats left of her evil Starbuck’s Frap

She’s right about that too. She was right about everything except one. I should love myself… I am fine just the way I am… but fine is not good enough. I want to be outstanding, I want to be healthy, I want to be strong, I want my period back. even if it is messy, My boobs will shrink but maybe that is a plus because I am lugging around DDs. My body is a temple where nobody worships anymore… well my fiance worships on a regular basis but I really should be the main matron. But I will not always be a little bit heavy.

Step One
-locate my reasons for doing this *Done
-create a plan *Done
-implement plan *Done
-change plan as necessary *Done
-find a support group *Done 43 things :)
-find better friends an ongoing process ;)



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