SailorMarsRei88

:( my skin was starting to look normal but now its back to having random zits here and there. I used to have AWFUL acne in highschool but now I am 22 years old and in college…and yet my skin isnt becoming “normal” I still am afraid to take my makeup off and I STILL cant be seen without any foundation on my skin. I still have old marks from previous acne and also have some red marks. Its frustrating. I just want normal skin…

Small comments get to me and makes me feel 10x more self cautious than what I typically am.

A random comment by a stranger, my SO’s friends or family members. I try to brush it off but I repeat the words they subtly said to me in my head for weeks and wear myself down.

I have a wonderful boyfriend who tells me I am pretty every day but I honestly feel sluggish, gross, and unattractive. I feel I do not compare anything to him…a in shape, tall, handsome guy. Some days I feel like he is only telling me these words because he wants to see me smile.

I probably do sound immature right there…complaining about how my boyfriend calls me beautiful and treats me well but I cant help but feel disgusting. I dont tell him how I feel. I try to keep it to myself.

Feb 14th is our 1 year anniversary. Before then I plan on getting a new hair cut, eyebrows waxed and some new makeup. Hopefully that will make me feel better.

I am on the waiting list for maricopa district in Arizona. I just applied. Its a good year and a half (or more..) waiting list. A bit depressing. I only have 2 pre-reqs left for the program (anatomy and physiology II and Microbiology) which I am doing this fall semester. After that, I am not sure what to do.

I am a CNA right now but not working as one yet. No one seems to want to hire a new grad CNA right now and I dont have the energy to job-hunt all the time especially during school and working in a restaurant.

I am about to volunteer at the hospital though. Probably for a good couple of years.

I really would like a decent job while I am waiting for the nursing program though. One that pays well…the job I have now doesnt cut it. And I have to pay 6k for nursing alone. Talk about stress.