I always saw this as flat out. If someone isn’t making you happy, if they are bringing you down then why keep them around. Why diminish your own possibilities of happiness for someone else. So what do you do when what is making you upset, what can be considered negative is also what keeps you happy. If that ‘negative’ person per-say is actually also the most positive person in your life?
Right now, I think it would be fantastic if I knew what I wanted even in one single part of my life. Decision making is hard enough when you have to choose between two solid things, but it’s even worse when those things aren’t actually identified. Making that leap of faith, especially when neither option is actually any good is hard. It’s hard to jump into a sea of sharks, but when your only other option is a different sea, with different sharks how do you know what jump is right. I’d like to be able to trust my instinct on it all. It would be pretty nice actually but when the odds of making the wrong decision are so high and you don’t actually know what your instinct is telling you then what happens?
I did this… it’s hard to believe that it’s already been nearly a month. My boyfriend and I packed it all up for a weekend and left. We knew we were going to Nova Scotia but hadn’t decided where. We crossed the border, stopped at the tourist bureau and then decided where we wanted to go. It was amazing, being away without knowing counting on you. We were on our trip alone together… really alone because it was just him and I… no one else to have to bother with or cater to. Fantastic.
I’ll be doing this in a few weeks. We’re going to Nova Scotia for a weekend but we’re not planning where we’re going. We’re not sticking to any schedule and we’re just going to camp where we end up. I’m excited. It’ll be nice to not have to worry.
I did this a couple of weekends ago with my boyfriend. He was leaving for a few weeks so we decided to do it before he left. The water was cold so we didn’t stay in for very long but it was still nice. I definitely want to do it again soon when he gets home.
The other night I was able to do this to a friend. He didn’t see it coming which was kind of nice but I would like to do it for a complete stranger some day.
well, I’ve applied for one so far but at this point I don’t even know if I’m going to go to school next year or not. Until I figure that out scholarships are not my priority.
I had a conversation about this today and came to the realization that I have actually accomplished this goal over the last couple of months. There has been so much going on in my life that I just haven’t had the time for people to bring me down so I’ve loosend ties with several people and it feels nice. Today I laughed, for most of the day. I got things accomplished and I’ll feel nice when I go to sleep. That should be what life is about. That being said, I am not going to remove this goal from my 43things as I think it’s important to keep building on.
I’ve decided what I want. I am not sure when I will get around to doing this, only because it interrupts my dancing, but at least I have a beginning. I was thinking about what I could get that would be significant on the bottom of my foot one day and I realized that the perfect thing would be the geographical coordinates of my hometown. I am graduating this year and most likely won’t ever come back to live here but it is my home. Having it imprinted on me forever, especially under my foot will me that no matter where I am, if I am walking, I am going home.
I have no idea what I want to do with my life but I am going to write this goal off as accomplished. That may not make much sense to most but I have realized that at this point what I am going to do isn’t that important. As long as I make good decisions and keep the futur in mind I would rather live in the present and see where my life takes me.
So, my parents, over the last few months have decided to call a quits. My mother being supposed to move out within the month. It has caused some hard times of course but I find happiness in knowing that if no other good came of it, I was able to become much closer to my sister in the process. It might be simply because she is aging and maturing but I think it all somehow relates.
well, this goal should be completed the coming Saturday night, lovely.
I DID IT!
Once, but it’s good enough for me. :)
I DID IT!
Once, but it’s good enough for me. :)
A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews
This is a lot easier said than done. I mean I strongly believe that everyone has to feel alone at some point. It’s like the whole being sad makes being happier even better. But I would like to reduce the frequency of my alone-feeling-ness. I know I have plenty people who care about me, and that my not appreciating that at all times is kind of selfish, but it’s hard.
This is another one of my goals for the summer. I don’t need to be good or even not horrible but I would like to be able to say that I know how to play.
This is one of my main goals for the summer. There really is nothing stopping me from doing it, I mean after all my backyard IS the ocean, and it’s not like my parents are always here and I would get caught. Now, only to find someone to come with.
As of Wednesday at 3:00, I will be one year closer to reaching this goal. Woo hoo.