Sammyangel252

Well i have recently decided that in order to be sucessful in college i need a very strong grasp on the basics. The first is essay writing. I am talking english 101 and my professor seems to really know what he is talking about. I think that this class is really going to give me some awesome stregths when it comes to not only writing an essay, but discovering what topics to write about, and how to gain moreinformation on these topics. I am really excited about tuesday because i will go into class with an open mind. I will not be discouraged about the amount of work that gets assigned or the difficulty of it. I have the power to work through it all. Dr. Lund ( my english professor) has made a good inmpression on me and i know that this class will be to my advantage and will help me become a better writer. I think it will also help me with expanding my vocabulary, being able to express myself clearly, and effectively. I just want to perform to the standards i know that i can. i just need a push. I can do this!!

When will i stop thinking about being healthier and just do it. When will it just come naturally. Why am i so lazy? Who is there really to look to for help and encouragement. I dont really want to have to look for it or ask for it because i dont really feel like anyone else really cares. I wish that people would stop thinking about feelings and think more about health, and life longjevity( shit i can’t spell) i mean hell i wish i could do that personally. but its just so hard to get out of my own way. its like my concious-mind just isn’t concious of all the information and chooses to ignore what i want it to pay attention to. I wake up with automatic instincts to consume something… anything. If i keep healthy easily acessable foods around then i end up benging on them and they do much more harm than good. I dont have concious controll over my inpulses. I wish i could afford therapy. I need it.

So the fir5st day of shcool was okay. I was really shocked at how different both of my teachers are. My Math teacher seems to be a little wishy washy but maybe that was just first day jitters. But let me tell you, my english professor, had no problem with that. He seems really strict, and the class seems like its going to be difficult but i mean i just really have to give it my all. The way that i see it is, I have two classes I am fairly goode a math so im not worried about that and i can focus more on english. I think that even through english is going to be difficult it is really going to help me get the basics down pat and that will improve my writing for the future. The only thing that scares me is that he said we can only miss 4 days and then he will drop us from the class automatically. AHHH 4 days. I really have to give it my all and stay focused. It should be easier because i have all these different aspects of my life all pushing for the same thing. A better life later on. I am solely responsible for myself and no one else. I am in-charge of my life and i want to go places i havn’t ever really even dreamed about.
I have never really thought about my future and where i want to be where i want to go but that seems to be all i can think about. I want to lay a good foundation so that things will get easier as time goes on and i will be able to handle the difficult sitatuions better than i ever thought possible. Oh please grant me the strength.