SatchBoogie3

I have always hated the idea of therapy. The problem with me is that I know what the problems are and I know the solutions, I just can’t live with having the problems in the first place. And I know exactly what therapist would say/advise. I have thought a lot of going the path of psychology, partly to try and understand myself. And I’m extremely stubborn, at least when it comes to people telling me what to do.

I also don’t think I would be comfortable talking about my problems, secrets, etc to basically a stranger. And the other obvious issue is that I wouldn’t want my parents or friends to ever find out. I keep everything inside, locked away from anyone. No one gets in, nothing gets out. Thats how I feel right now. I know its probably the wrong way to think and act, but I don’t like putting my problems on other people and wan’t them to think highly of me.

It’s strange with me. I have never failed at anything I have ever tried at. Most of the time I do well without much thought/effort, yet I still have almost no confidence in myself. I just always feel like no matter what I am doing/could be doing, someone else can do a better job, so why bother?

The other problem I have is believing that I might be a “bad person”. I always try to do the right thing and think of others before myself. I consider myself pretty selfless, yet I am terrified that I might be a “bad person” just because of one or 2 traits I might have that I can’t change. I realize that a lot of it has to do with the way society is, but I still can’t help but think that something is wrong with me and I’m a bad person. Some people can live with having problems, but dealing with them and doing the right thing. I don’t think I can, or at least not at this point. I’m just terrified of being persecuted by people because of the way I am.

I moved to a new town 2 1/2 years ago and I don’t really know any of my neighborhood. I went to boarding highschool, then last year I was living in Boston for College. Back up at my house I still don’t know my neighbors, but at this point, I don’t know how to go about meeting them. It sounds pretty silly, but my folks/me have been living here a while now and it would seem pretty awkward to just introduce myself. How should I go about meeting people?

Also, how would you “re-introduce” yourself to your next-door neighbors? I met them when I moved in, but haven’t really spoken to them since. I really want to try and form a friendship, but I don’t want to be awkward.