ScottishOnion

I think that some of the problems holding me back from making some really good friends have been my upbringing and a mild case of Asperger’s Syndrome. My parents were always overbearing, and my childhood was at the very least confusing. My mother suffered from her own problems and that made for a very tense home life most of the time, with my father not supporting us children in any way.

My fear of social interactions and my family’s “otherness” left me an outcast at school. Granted, I wasn’t bullied but rather ignored. I sought out friends with the wrong group of people, only because I was too proud to join the nerds and no one else would accept me.

All of my “friends” have been the bossy domineering type. I reently broke it off with two long time friends of mine, one I knew since highschool, and another was a college buddy. It was very difficult, but I think that maybe it was a first step towards something good.

I have always been super intrested in the Jewish faith. Near my staffing agency is a synagouge that has a banner advertising a Hebrew school. On the website (http://www.renoemanuel.org/school.php), it looks like the school is for children, but I will email them and see if there are any adult menotring programs specifically for adults, and if it is open to Gentiles.

I have had trouble making friends my whole life. I have very few friends as it is. I think some of it is my fault though. It takes me a while to warm up to people, and I tend to be very shy. Some people interpret this as being aloof or holier-than-thou. I know that people see me as stiff and formal too, and I have often been told that I come off as a very reserved boring person. I don’t think of myself as that at all. I think that I am a generally plesant caring person who is just lonely.

I tend to pick people who have a very strong over powering persona as a friend. This type of person really overpowers every situation and dominates every conversation. I have tried everytime to not choose these types of people, but I seem to attract them and I honestly don’t have the guts to tell them to knock it off.

I would really like to be friends with other people that are just as caring, respectful and intellectual as me. I don’t think that these are too hard of a criteria to expect of another.