SeekingBliss

ive been doing a pretty good job of this actually!!

last time i wrote, i decided that “living on my own” means more to me than just getting my own place, which i have had for the past month. if that were the goal, ive already completed it (duh!!). but its more than that. i want to be okay with being alone. i want to feel fulfilled and happy and self-sustaining on my own. and this part is hard. i have good days and bad days. today i feel more empty. i had kind of a wack interaction with old friends last night that makes me realize we have grown apart and really have nothing in common anymore. we dont really ever talk about real things, about things i want to talk about…and i just need to stop trying to make those relationships into things they arent, because then i wake up alone like i did today and feel crappy. i think the key for me in making this work is going to be to keep busy, to stay on top of all of my responsibilities (i HATE feeling like im out of control, late, financially irresponsible, etc), and continue to cultivate relationships with people who will honor my independence and yet support and nurture me. i know i can do this, it just takes time. i also REALLLLYY need to keep meeting new people!

well, i took a spanish placement test at school and got into the 2nd quarter. the only thing is, im going to wait until the winter to take it because i dont want to overload my schedule right now. so…not much progress here i have to admit.