Shadowchilde

I’m having second thoughts about being a Medical Transcriptionist. After spending several weeks studying the first couple of chapters, I’ve decided that this might not be the right choice of a career. I am not very good at grammar or spelling and it is starting to show. The other thing that is starting to show is that I haven’t picked the books back up on over a month. I really have to finish this course and the other one on Medical Coding (which might be easier). Whether I get a job doing this or not in the future. I have to finish the courses. According to the school, I have 18 months to finish. So… I better get my little butt going and get this done.

So… this is the one thing that I don’t really want to do, that I have to get done. Oh well… sometimes life is like that.

Well, this is a good goal to have, as a matter of fact… it is on my list of things to be done on the whiteboard. However, I haven’t made much progress on it yet.

However, I’m not the only one who is terrible with paperwork. And I guess that’s why trying to keep up on it is my job and not the job of my partner. Wow… if he could keep his paperwork together in one place where he could relocated when he needs it… that would be a huge relief.

Anyway… I guess this is something that I will take on. Since I’m not working, I need to do something that really amount to something around the house. Yeah… now it is time to clean, be a good wife and mother… and take care of all the pets. So, I have a full plate already. However, I’ll have to get a job at some time… like the beginning of the year. But I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Later…

Things have been pretty hard. Well, maybe it is better to say that I have been very hard on myself. Mostly because of everything that I’ve gone through and it probably doesn’t help that in the past year, I feel that I’ve actually gotten older… looking. I used to be mistaken for someone 10 to 15 years younger. Now, I think that I’m actually looking my age and that bothers me. It’s hard for me to feel happy with who I am when I don’t feel like I really know the person that I am anymore. I feel like I am someone completely different and I’m not sure that’s very good.

I’m tired a lot of the time, I am not as driven to accomplish things like I used to be. I am more prone to just want to take some time to breath instead of rush through the things that I have to do.

I’ve gotten into a place where I don’t feel like I am getting enough done with my time, and yet, I am not pushing myself to accomplish more. I really need to break out of this rut and get motivated. However, my arm hurts, my back hurts… my throat hurts a little… nothing tastes very good to me anymore, so I’m not eating. And I don’t know, I guess that I’m just not seeing the world in the same way I used to.

I need to take more interest in myself and my life. I need to find new things to motivate me into getting things done. That is what I really need to do.