Shaherezad

I’ve been going to therapy sessions more often since New Years and its really been doing a lot for me. I’m hoping to see more positive results

Making new friends. I’d have to say that’s definitely one of the best feelings

Although I know what career path I want to take, I am still a bit foggy on where I want to end up in the grand scheme of things. The future seems too much like a dream and not like reality. I think that the moment that I can accept my goals as my true calling and fate rather than just a distant dream I will be able to scratch this one off the list.

Today I am thankful for having a gym in my apartment complex. Now I will have no more excuses for being lazy and I can get closer to my ultimate goal of being healthy.

Today I am thankful that no matter what I can always say that things will be okay in the end, no matter what obstacle I am forced to hurdle. Sometimes I forget that not everyone can say that.

The past couple of days have been strange for me, maybe even questionable at times. What’s strange is that I’m feeling a weird sort of optimism, something I’ve never truly felt before. I’m starting a new quarter at university which would usually put me in a bit of a panic, but I feel eerily calm and confident that all will turn out well. I can honestly say this is one of the best feelings I’ve ever had. Today I am thankful for this optimistic feeling.

I don’t know why this goal keeps slipping my mind, but anyway… I just got back to school from a vacation back home and it feels good to be back. So today I am thankful for being independent and actually enjoying it!

I hope the day will soon come when I can stop critiquing myself so harshly and be proud of myself. That just may be my New Years resolution.

So, I came home to my parents’ house for the holidays and my sister told us all that she had some news that she wanted to share with us over dinner. She came home last night and told us about her job promotion and new assistant and all that, which was actually really exciting. When she came I noticed that she had lost a bunch of weight. She’s a bit smaller than me in stature but had always weighed a little more than me so obviously I noticed when she walked in looking tiny. Perhaps it was because I hadn’t seen her in months, but I definitely took a note of it.
Anyway, she spent almost the entire evening talking about her new diet, something about cutting out carbs and gluten and other things in search of a cure to improve her skin. Basically, in search of a means to perfect her skin she accidentally lost weight, I guess.
Although I was happy to see her looking healthy and happy to hear her news about her job, I just couldn’t help but feel a little jealous about her weight.
The thing that I work so hard on- killing myself working out and watching what I eat, just came accidentally for her. I’m not sure why but that just KILLS me.
Anyway, I talked to my dad about it tonight because he noticed I was upset, I explained the situation, and he gave me a lecture about how everyone’s body type is different. Comparison’s shouldn’t be made, etc.
I was really hesitant to listen at first but started realizing that he’s right. My body weight may be my personal obsession, my sister’s my be her skin, and someone else’s is something else. It’s all different and in the grand scheme of things it’s all not that important.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this, but I just really wanted to share.
Thanks for listening everyone.. even when I don’t make sense.

I am truly thankful to be home for the holidays. I missed my family and my hometown friends. Happy holidays everyone!

Today I ate half a burger and fries. I’m really trying to be okay with it. It just seems so hard for me to rationalize that it’s okay to indulge every once in awhile.

I found out today that I may be going to do volunteer work this summer in Guatemala which would be amazing! Definitely made my day!

Lost love.

This is one of my less intimidating goals. I’ve done pretty well at masking my nerves during my presentations so far over the last few quarters. I have one last one to do tomorrow for a Spanish class and if all goes well I will feel confident enough to knock this one off the list. Always a good feeling

Today I am thankful for 3 hour, impromptu naps. It was much needed and much appreciated.

I have so many phobias that really do stand in my way. Though some are more intense than others, they all keep me from living the fulfilling life that I know I could. I won’t get into all of them right now, but my goal is to overcome each one, one at a time and finally live with a little less unnecessary stress.

I really am thankful for the life I have been given. I’ve had so many great times, laughter, and happiness in my life. My goal is to always keep this in mind, no matter what obstacles I run into.

particularly lonely lately, which never seems to help with my depression or anxiety. I’m trying to look for a silver lining, something to look forward to, but sometimes it’s just so hard to do. It’s almost finals week at university, but after that a few weeks of break. I guess that’s something that I can look forward to. In the mean time I guess I can keep myself busy with goals and school work. It’s just tough when there’s so much weighing on your mind.

Today I am thankful for the gym. I always dread going but after I do, I always feel great. It’s a huge stress reliever and a way for me to indulge in another thing that I secretly love… realty t.v…

Today I am thankful for my warm and cozy bed, where I have spent the last few hours doing homework, listening to music, and lounging. I forgot how nice it feels to take it easy.