Sierramoon

When I think back on the moments in my life where I was the most relaxed and confident, I noticed that I was always deeply in touch with music. For me, listening to the type of music that truly appeals to me opens the door for me to be myself more often. As a kid/teen I always felt pressured to listen to rap/hip hop simply because that was what was expected of me as a black person. But that style of music doesn’t appeal to me. When I listen to it, I rarely feel anything at all. It’s just sound to me. But put on a Trip Hop song or Alternative song and I can actually feel something. I can relate to it. It makes me think. I feel authentic and that feeling would spill over into the rest of my life. My next step in my quest to live life to the fullest is to develop my soundtrack. Fill my ipod with songs that move me. Play them often. Get to know myself through the music I feel moved by.

The main thing about living life to the fullest is being aware. Being present. Using your senses. Appreciate the little things. I bought a new brand of laundry detergent that smells like roses. My fabric softener does too, so now doing laundry is a sensual experience. When I pull the clothes out of the dryer, they feel so soft and smell so good. When I’m washing multiple loads, my whole house smells like roses. When I get a new bath towel from the closet, I’m surrounded by roses.

I’m bought to the present. One minute I’m stressing about something and the next I’m noticing the smell of my clothes. I’m thinking of flowers and how wonderful it is that I found that new laundry detergent.

Notice the little things and appreciate them.

So often I think about past things I’ve done or said and I relive all of those embarrasing feelings. What is the point? Why punish myself for the same mistake over and over again. Imagine how freeing it would be to just live and not be a punching bag. I wouldn’t put up with someone else constantly criticising me about the same things, so why do I do it to myself?