Silver2007

I write all the time, journals, thoughts, ideas, observations. I am also a visual person, I love images, colour, texture and patterns. I’d love to create a book with words, images and observations on life that inspired, connected and representated something of what it is like to be human in this day and age and perhaps as a mid-30’s woman!

I think the time and space will come for this book someday, perhaps when wisdom and age have matured me enough for it not to be about me directly, but a desire to share with no expectations some of what I have experienced.

For me this is pscychological as much as it is material. I do have debts at the moment, but I have also had lots of money in the bank and still felt a background anxiety that really I have some pay off to make??

If I look at my list of other things I want to do they seem to be linking quite strongly (never thought this excercise would be quite so revealing!!) Working, money, a sense of duty, perfectionism, must work harder type of attitude. I have experienced doing what I love in my day and money just coming to me, you know those stories, I just started doing peoples gardening as I had a few hours to spare, they started to exchange money for it and all of a sudden I realised I wanted to do this more and thrown into the bargain was an income!!

I’d like to really work on my belief that money is not related to self worth in anyway and I am sure my material and psychological debt will get smaller and within time will not even be a factor in my thinking. I’ll let you know how I get on!

I love this feeling when I get it, that anything is possible, that I dont have to follow the possibilities, but I can enjoy the sense that things are moving, changing and growing all around me all of the time. When I tap into living with this mindset I end up feeling and acting more creative and my life feels like its moving. I feel in a sense of constant renewal, in the moment, unable to look back or forward because the NOW is far more interesting as things are appearing before my eyes! A new way of seeing emerges, new people, buildings, things to write, make, paint, letters to write, plants to care for, I just seem to have more motivation and my eyes are wide open…...so living creatively means to me living with a sense of movement that I dont have to drive myself, it feels like I am just joining in a life that already has as much in it as I could ever dream of, I only need to choose what, who and how I connect with it. Feels good just writing about it!