I'm doing 43 things
SimonG's Life List
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1. rub everything in the fridge on my arm to see if I get a rash
1 cheer1 person -
2. write an opera based on the terms and conditions of Microsoft Office
3 cheers1 person -
3. go for a day without learning something new
1 cheer1 person -
4. persuade someone to name their baby something really stupid
3 people -
5. memorise pi to no decimal places
1 cheer1 person -
6. win a rice pudding on a game show
1 person -
7. disprove a theory that everyone already knew was wrong
1 cheer1 person -
8. teach starving people how to make an origami swan
1 person -
9. poke Gloria Hunniford with a cucumber
1 person -
10. pretend to mistake random people for celebrities they look nothing like
1 cheer1 person -
11. make someone forget something really important
2 people -
12. argue furiously that someone facing a dilemma take one particular course, when in fact I have absolutely no understanding of what the situation is or what they should do
1 person -
13. start all of my sentences for a day with the word "Oooh"
1 person -
14. teach a budgie to waterski
1 person -
15. trim the facial hair of twenty men using only a compass
1 person -
16. convince someone they're lactose intolerant
1 cheer1 person -
17. rearrange the furniture in the night when staying with friends, then vigorously deny it in the morning in the face of the evidence
1 cheer1 person -
18. resolve a dispute between midgets
1 cheer2 people -
19. paint a frog on a snail's shell and see if I can get an actual frog to mate with it
2 people -
20. convert someone to a religion that doesn't really exist
2 cheers1 person -
21. get an honourary degree in a subject I know nothing about
1 person -
22. be given a piggyback to the top of Mount Everest
1 person -
23. learn how to yodel without using my lungs
1 person -
24. build a village for midgets to live in with mice dressed up as tiny people so they can pretend to be giants
1 cheer1 person -
25. train a monkey to run around in circles in exchange for cheese, and use it to power a cheese-making machine
2 cheers2 people -
26. discover a human body part in food
1 person -
27. confuse snooker players by swapping the balls for little turnips when they're not looking
1 person -
28. lick Ambrosia custard from the buttocks of someone whose name begins with every letter of the alphabet (except D)
1 person -
29. invent a new integer between 1 and 10
1 person -
30. collect my belly button fluff for a year and use it to stuff an owl
1 person -
31. give meringues to tramps and then run away giggling
1 person -
32. learn a language that no one else speaks, and then forget it
1 person -
33. live vicariously through Keira Knightley
2 cheers1 person -
34. know ten facts about penguins
1 cheer1 person -
35. write a novel so confusing, incoherent and tedious that no one can make it past the first page
1 person -
36. communicate by mime only, especially on the phone
2 people -
37. create a universe
1 person -
38. learn the Internet by heart
1 person -
39. get irrationally, visibly excited about everyday phenomena in crowded public places
2 cheers2 people -
40. ridicule the aspirations of others in an effort to prevent my associates from achieving anything worthwhile and make my own worthless existence look less pathetic in comparison
1 person -
41. patent something that everyone's been doing for years
1 person -
42. tie some fish together with string and see how long it takes them to work out that they have to swim in the same direction
1 person -
43. glue a cornflake to an old man's face
1 cheer1 person
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