I didn’t see him all day. He called me last night. He wants to be my friend. He doesn’t know if he loves me still. He likes someone else… and she’s not even pretty. But he thinks she’s beautiful. And I cannot for the life of me figure out how. He says my chances of him being in love with me are 50/50. With those words, I have had enough. I will no longer be sad. No matter how sick I feel when I see him, I will hold my head up high and smile. It’s time to pick myself and my dignity up from the ground. I am worth so much more than a 50/50 chance.
SimplyIzzy's Life List
I need to make a new life for myself. Away from him. But how?
School was canceled today…. it came as a relief not having to see him today after yesterday’s horrid events. However, Yo can run, but you can’t hide… and school resumes tomorrow. What do I do? I already feel like my heart is going to come out of my chest… I am so scared. I want to look strong… like nothing can bring me down… but how? how? How do I stop feeling like my insides are about to fall out? How do I stop the yearning to call him and beg him to love me? How? I need strength… now more than ever before. And to you… I love you. Still… Stupidly. And yes… I miss you more than ever… and the thought of seeing you with someone else is threatening to overwhelm me… make me wish I cold be a million miles away from you. But I can’t run away. I can’t. Not yet, at least. I have to stay here , with my parents, and prepare for college so when I have to go, I can get the farthest away from you possible. But I will be strong. Every time I see you looking so happy I will remember that you truly are not, because you are not a happy person… a person that makes another so miserable on purpose cannot have a happy heart. But I WILL. I MuST. Survive. I will survive. I have to.