SitalaCMR

I was looking at the entries I made on this 2 years ago and I decided not to delete this one. I haven’t been as faithful to this goal over the past 2 years. A lot has gone on and while He has been a part of my life and forever in my heart… For almost the last year His words have began collecting dust on the nightstand. Life has been covered in this haze. Every day slips by full of these negative feelings and I have to wonder where that feeling of gratitude has gone. When did I stop feeling blessed about all the things I have. Was it when life became easier, when a couple of my most desired prayers came true? When he delivered me from the life I once had that was full of stress, struggles and sadness? What kind of daughter am I to Him?

It’s times like this… when I feel like this… that I am so thankful for His love. I can go running back and know that His arms are wide open waiting to embrace me.

I hit the lowest weight I have ever been. I was 94 pounds and you could see every bone in my body. I had some personal issues arise and I tend to stop eating when I am going through stressful times. Fortunately, I have managed to gain weight. I believe that it has a lot to do with the fact that I finally quit smoking. I’m about 101 pounds now. I gained it all in the past three weeks. I feel better and it doesn’t disgust me to look in the mirror anymore. So, I think it is time to start a toning workout that I do more seriously (another goal of mine). I don’t want to put on this weight and have it all be pudge!

I have done it! 3 weeks ago I decided it was time to stop playing around and making excuses about why I can’t stop smoking and why I needed to have a cigarette. I didn’t use a stop smoking aid; I just went cold turkey. The first 3 days were the hardest and I still have the occassional urge to smoke, but I am a non-smoker and keep telling myself that. I’m so excited about accomplishing this goal! It is definitely one of the hardest things I have done!