it goes with the whole confidence thing, which is something that I am continuing to work on.
Regarding the last comment I left – my floormates and I now get on famously, just need to now integrate with some of the others in my house..
have finally achieved this.
Have put various posters up, noticeboard is almost halfway full, can’t really do much about the state of the walls/curtains/carpet but I have cut out some pictures from magazines and put them up to cover the worst of it.
I have moved to uni and I have never felt so inferior some days…right now I’m sitting in my room alone as my floormates are people who I would usually despise in any other situation, but instead I let them drag me to the most inane clubs I have ever seen.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always like this but today has been the WORST day. They have all just stayed in their rooms watching bloody boybands on youtube. Unless its the clash/green day etc i HATE boybands. I have tried to connect with them but it’s just not happening.
The rest of the people in my house all have a completely different background to me (lived in the country attended private school has at least 2 ponies each) and have formed cliques pretty damn quickly so much so that I can’t go in the common room on my own as I would just feel v.alienated.
It can only get better right??? I’m starting my course tomorrow hopefully I’ll make friends there.
After I log off from this I’m going to listen to The Clash v.loudly and go into the common room alone…..crap.
phases of reading a lot and then reading nothing at all, so this goal I guess is to try to read more and watch TV less, then I can minimise the very tall pile of unread books by the side of my bed.
before I move cities! Went horribly for the first 10 minutes (stalled twice at a junction that I ALWAYS STALL AT!) but after that it was quite decent, finished roundabouts more or less, just need to look up more rather than what is immediately infront of the car!
I am going to try and become a force of nature, i am starting university in 6 days and have nothing sorted. There was also a massive cock up with my finance application so i will now have no money for at least the first couple of months of my term – nightmare!
going to have to be my room in uni now!
Have already bought bedsheets, a lamp etc. Just need to now buy some posters, cushions, throws etc to make it a bit more homely!
I have a habit of feeling instantly inferior when placed in a new situation with new people, so seeing as I am starting uni in 2 weeks, I have to really work on my confidence and I have to remember that EVERYONE is in the same position and just be friendly to everyone.
It was 2 hours long so for the 1st hour I was just practising turning on v.deserted roads, THEN I went on proper roads with roundabuts, traffic lights and even went on 2 v.fast dual carrigeways!!!
I’m starting to get it finally, now just need to practise a lot more.
Didn’t stall or doing anything completely wrong – couple of sticky situations but I think I dealt with them ok.
Next lesson is tomorrow, lets see if that goes as well…
Had a disaster of a 2 hour driving lesson a couple of days ago, couldn’t do ANYTHING right, and the worst thing is that a lot of my friends can drive and so inevitably I am comparing myself to them and getting even more downhearted about it.
I want to give up but I know that I can’t!
(and even my school has offered to help if I do a gap year) but STILL need to think about what I’m going to do (accept a place at a mid rate uni or resit and try for my dream uni again?!?)
didn’y quite get a “b” but got a “c” instead which I am REALLY happy with as that means I have improved by a grade from last year – but this puts me into an uncomfortable position with uni choices(!!!) so need to decide what exactly I’m doing next year.
but thats onlt because I have been going out more – getting in later – going to sleep later.
Not exactly sure I want to break the “going out” cycle just yet.
before a plan is implimented. Everyone seems to be completely crapping one about these results and I just know that it is going to be a horrible day for me. Or maybe I’m not allowing myself to hope for the best????
if I have got into uni. V.scared, trying not to get my hopes up and whatever happens I AM NOT GOING TO CRY!
so only 3 more to go, have been eating less but need to start the serious exercise if I want to keep this weight off and lose even more as I have been doing the bare minimum amount of exercise so far.
