I'm doing 43 things
My best friend/”big sister I never had”, Ashley, passed away on March 22nd, 2011 in front of me. That day continues to haunt me to the point where I was heavily using hard drugs and starting to seriously consider suicide; I had a 6-page note, a plan and even made a few unsuccessful attempts. I sought help for that and I no longer use drugs or want to end my life, but I now want to see a grief counselor that can help me cope with her loss in a better way than I have been, because it’s been 8 months and I still sob on a daily basis, I still miss her laugh, smile, scent, and voice; and am probably been suffering the worst depression I’ve ever experienced in my life: not getting out of bed for days (and I mean DAYS), neglecting my health, personal appearance, hygiene, and not eating. My doctor says I am suffering from PTSD. I want to overcome this as soon as possible. I know that I will always miss her but the pain is NOT getting better with time, like people have told me it would.
